Rant Time 3

Whisper

Good news, my mom is okay, she just had a really painful muscle spasm. The first hospital denied her treatment so she went to a better one and was home in a few hours. Thank you to astrokath for calling me at three in the morning to comfort me!
And I'm out of school for Christmas/New Year break. Fuck you, school. But I still have homework. Yay.
Anyway, I like Whisper, but I also hate it and wish I could light the app on fire and watch it burn. It was great at first, I got to see what was inside peoples' heads, and I got to unleash my annoyances anonymously without someone jumping down my throat and stalking my other posts.
I was addicted to it for a few days, but then I realized how shitty and stupid the people on there really are. Everything turns into a huge deal. The word "slut" is thrown around about abortion, there's infertile people bitching and moaning how they want babies but don't have money for IVF or surrogacy, arguments break out, people attack each other, some are openly talking about having affairs.
I know it's for confessions, but come on, I hardly think anyone wants to fuck you, so asking the entire population of Whisper if they wanna fuck is just stupid. And they're fucking strangers. How fucking desperate do you have to be?
There is no hope for some of these people. I do feel for some, but a lot of them I have zero sympathy for because they did stupid things. No, I don't feel sorry for you because you cheated on your husband and now you're pregnant with the other guy's kid. No, I don't feel sorry for you because you did something stupid and now you're paying the price.
Some whispers break my heart, because there are some who find relief in this app to vent about their frustrations and pain. There is a lot of talk about death and miscarriages and terminal illnesses.
One thing that pisses me off about it is that everyone is so fucking rude. I'm not a member of the Affected by Abortion group, because I've never been pregnant and obviously never aborted, but I'm a supporter, so I lurk there frequently. The amount of pro-life propaganda in that group is amazing. Why are you here, in an abortion group, if you think abortion is "killing babies" and "murder?" Stay the fuck out and you wouldn't see it.
Some people have literally said that, even though some kids put up for adoption won't get families, it's better to just let them live. One even said, "What's worse: never having a family or never getting the chance to live?" Mind-blowing. Can't miss what you never even had, lady.
Abortion hate aside, here's some shit that's happened to me personally in the couple measly weeks I've had Whisper.
I have 10 whispers posted by me. Most of them are about how I hate when people bug me about having kids in the future, and how mental illness affects me. I have one post that got a strange reply. It made no sense whatsoever.
Here's my post:

And the reply was this crap, word for fucking word: "Sounds like transference. Nobody comforted you, so you feel angry towards children who are being looked after. It's 'why doesn't somebody normalize this situation for me'? Syndrome."
At first, I was like, "The fuck?" And now I'm angry. I did reply. I was nicer than I should have been though. What I'm really pissed about is:
1) Where in my post did I say anything about not being comforted in my childhood? That wasn't mentioned at all. She's assuming shit.
2) I did not say I'm angry towards kids. I said that their crying unnerves me. Those two are not the same thing.
3) The fact that she assumes my mom didn't look after me pisses me off. Yeah, I could've used more emotional support, but she took care of me.
4) What degree does this person have in psychology? That is not a Syndrome, that's some shit she made up to sound like she's smart. Transference is a psychoanalysis term. I'd like to see a degree.
5) Transference in this case would be projecting my hatred of my childhood into other kids. So apparently being unnerved by their crying equals me redirecting the feelings on other kids. I'm not. Their crying triggers my Misophonia and anxiety. Fuck you.
This person has to be a parent. Why else would she/he be so defensive? Why would they assume that I'm angry at kids? It just bothers me. That's the worst, dumbest reply I've ever gotten.
And here's one that kinda hurt and pissed me off deep down inside. My post (my first post):

The reply: "I've thought about this too. I don't want to marry someone with mental illness because I want there to be a less likely chance that my children will be mentally ill too."
At first, it didn't bug me, but the more I read it, the more it made me sad and angry. So she doesn't wanna marry someone (who could be the greatest person ever) with mental illness because her kids that don't even exist yet won't have them.
It's not that she's protecting future kids from what I go through, it's that she would skip out on someone solely because she wants children. It's great she's thinking about how it may affect her kids, but it makes me sad that one would just leave a great person only because of the children they may have. A great person I love is worth more to me than any child.
If I found someone who was perfect for me, the greatest person alive, I wouldn't give a shit if they had a mental illness that prohibited me from having biological kids. It shouldn't be that way. Yes, leave a person you love only because you want to spawn.
I'm conflicted on it. To each their own.
I've also been told that I will change my mind about not having kids, and been given a condescending "good luck with that!" in response to me saying that I want to be sterilized.
People are just assholes there. Someone said they don't like it when someone uses their anxiety as an excuse to not participate in school. I didn't let that one go without saying something, but I got plenty of encouragement from others.
I'm not on Whisper often anymore. In a way, it's addictive, but I try not to feed into it. Sometimes it's best to ignore it altogether. Don't catch the stupid.
~
Hopefully I can update more now that I'm out. I've separated myself from the Internet for the past week or so, but I'm back.
This song is my life right now.

I have listened to it literally more than 100 times.
6 days until Christmas. Stab me with a sharpened candy cane. Please.
~
Sierra 🌙