Rant Time 3

"Opinionated" Part 2: The Confrontation

I couldn't help myself. I couldn't control it.
I confronted Z about her shady comments about me being opinionated. If I have to make a part 3 to this, I'm going to be so fucking pissed.
So I texted her first. She'd text me three weeks ago asking if I was ready for Europe. I ignored it because I know how overbearing she can be. I finally worked up the courage to call her out on this. My mom didn't care. She encouraged me. She said she was probably going to text Z and ask her what she meant by it, but I beat her to it, knowing my mom can be passive about things.
I texted Z back and said, "Yeah. I'm a bit nervous. I heard you visited [my aunt] at her work yesterday."
She said that she did and it was "nice to see her again." I finally (calmly) laid the question out on the table without hesitation or fear. What could go wrong? The only thing I have to fear is my mom, and if she encourages me, what's there to fear?
I was very calm but yet assertive. I made it clear that I wasn't angry or upset, I was just curious why it was even said in the first place.
I said, and I quote, "If you don't mind me asking, what did you mean that we were opinionated?"
Fuck. I've opened the gate to hell. Actual hell. With a one-way ticket in my hand. She's not going to stop justifying herself to me. She's going to text and text and never leave me alone after this. Fuck me.
I'll try to brief this and paraphrase it because it's so long and drawn out. She spent over an hour typing out these texts, saying the same things over again. I was at work and my phone was lighting up like crazy because she couldn't give me a single answer. I didn't want to get in trouble for it so I put it away although I wanted to just jump down her throat.
Instead of just telling me why she said we were opinionated, she gave me the definition of "opinionated." I just. . .bitch.
Her: Means you have strong views. You don't go with the crowd. You have your own mind and aren't afraid to use it. [quote] For you. An example would be home schooling or someone's sexuality as their right or choice. For me one might be graduating is soooo important to me and it's my opinion and I have the same rights. I know u get it. [end quote]

(Graduating is important to me. It's my goal. I will still graduate. I told her that.)

Me: [quote] I know what opinionated means, but I think society gets that confused with being rude. I do speak my mind all the time but people get offended. [end quote]

Her: [quote] I was definitely never offended. I told her I felt like y'all were ok with me but honestly I don't know. I just try my best always to put others 1st. [end quote]

Me: [quote] What do you mean you don't know? I'm not being rude or anything, I just don't understand. I may have said some offensive things. [end quote]

Her: [quote] Basically if y'all liked being with me [end quote]

Me: [quote] Of course. [end quote]

Her: [quote] Yeaaaaa.

(What the fuck does that even mean, you crazy bat? Sarcasm?)

Her: [quote] One thing I would have changed about our last cruise, I would not have stayed at last night in Seattle I would have came on right after that cruise. [end quote]

(Because you regret having to pay my mom $400 for it?)

Me: [quote] The last day was fun although I was moody. I really wanted to go to Pride, but I still had fun. [quote]

Her: [quote] I would have went with you LOL.

(Even if she fucking offered, I wouldn't have. That's a horrifying thought. I want my first Pride to be memorable.)

Her: The next one is going to be fun also because there are more people coming so if somebody wants to do something and someone doesn't there's always someone in the group that wants to do what you want to do. [end quote]

Me: [quote] That's cool. I may try to go off and do my own thing. I regret not going to the LGBT group on the boat, but it is what it is. Maybe they'll have something similar on this one. I'll be way past 17 so I'll be more confident to do my own thing. [end quote]

(There was an LGBT group on the boat. I didn't get to go because no one would take me and I didn't know how to get to the place where it was without getting lost. There would've been no way to contact anyone if I did get lost. Maps were no help. And Z wanted to eat dinner everyday at the time the group was there.)
--
We said more stuff but it isn't relevant. She dodged the subject but I brought it back once I got off work.

Me: [quote] The only thing I was curious about was why you thought I was opinionated. That's all I wanted to know. [end quote]

Her: [q] Because u have opinions. [eq]

(THAT IS NOT WHAT I ASKED.)

Her: [q] Myself included. Your mom too. Specifically? [eq]

(UGHHHHHH. YES BITCH.)

Me: [q] Yes. Specifically. What exactly made you feel like I was very opinionated? If you were upset by something I said, it's okay to tell me. [eq]

Her: [q] Like I said I was never upset. It wasn't meant to be negative or I wouldn't have said it, especially to your aunt. Maybe I used the wrong word? Did she relay the conversation like it was a negative thing? U know, come to think of it she was a little stand-off - ish after we spoke. Humm. Geez guess I messed up. [eq]

(OF COURSE. BACKTRACK YOURSELF.)

Me: [q] You didn't mess up. [eq]

(LIES. LIES. LIES.)

Her: [q] Ok so let me rephrase. 3 Strong personality women living together in extremely tiny spaces for 9 days. We're all pretty fortunate to have not only not ended up enemies but in my opinion actually closer. That's the message I was trying to convey. [eq]

(Why didn't you fucking say that at first instead of me trying to squeeze it out of you?!)

Me: [q] I'll agree with that. [eq]

(I said this so she'd go away. I knew I wouldn't get much else so it was useless. She kept going.)

Her: [q] So it wasn't about you or anyone in particular but us 3 as strong minded opinionated women. Which we are. You know it's hard living with others. Anyone. But I think we pulled it off well. Plus your mom and the back pain she was experiencing, your period and missing home and kitty and me just wanting yalls 1st cruise to be the best it could. (No pressure there)! Lol [eq]

(Yes, just dodge the subject again. Okay. I'm done.)
--
That was pretty much it. I felt like she was hiding her true feelings. I didn't appreciate how she kept trying to get out of it like she knew she said something wrong. If you were offended by something I said or did, just tell me!
I know I was aggressive with her on the cruise because she pushed my buttons and violated my boundaries. She wouldn't leave me alone. Maybe she doesn't want to admit something. Maybe she secretly has some dislike for me. That's okay.
Am I overreacting here? Was it really as bad as it seemed? Did her texts seem a little passive-aggressive? Especially that "enemies" part?
Whatever it is, I stopped texting her. I couldn't deal. I don't regret confronting her at all, but I'm frustrated that I wasted my time.
I expect her to text any time now, wondering why I didn't answer her.
Hint: it's because talking to her is like talking to a fucking wall. But I think I'd actually get more information out of a wall than her.
~
Sierra 🌙