Rant Time 3

WTF?!

Warning: gross and disturbing. Mentions of dicks and vaginas.
My brain has been assaulted with horrible mental images today. The mental images will never leave my mind for at least ten years. I am scarred.
My nerves have been so rustled that they're in outer space now. My only thought at this moment is "what the fuck!"
I just got back from dinner with my mom and Z. We met up at a restaurant and were looking at things to do in Alaska and blah blah blah, not relevant.
Towards the end of our meals, my mom asked Z how Crystal is doing. They're starting to reconcile once more, but with reconciling comes dealing with family, and with dealing with family comes drama.
First, they're in a tiff because the youngest child has a terrible speech impairment and Z wants Crystal to allow him to do speech therapy because his teacher is recommending it. Crystal is flying off her handle and complaining, "I don't want them to LABEL my son!"
Honey, they're already labeling whether you do it or not. Her kids all have something wrong with them and it's very obvious. If the teacher is saying something about this, it's time to do something about it. The teacher is also asking to get him tested because he can't comprehend things. She reads to him and it doesn't click in his brain.
But nope. "They can't label him!"
So what if they do? It's for his own good. He's in first grade. I doubt anyone is going to pick on him for getting therapy. But they will pick on him in the future when it gets worse and he can't talk. So I mean. . .pick your battle.
Is it just me or is this being selfish? She doesn't want to get her son the help he needs because she's afraid of "labels." Guess what. I'm labeled as several things: depressed, manic, bipolar, but my mom still got me help, because my problems are more important than what people may think of me!
Anyway. Here's what I really wanted to say. It's gross and I almost threw up while I was laughing. It was just that conflicting.
My middle cousin... You know him as Future Serial Killer, but I'm going to give him a new name in honor of this moment. Let's call him. . .Tiny DingleBerry. You'll see what I mean in a minute.
So here's the story:
T'was a normal moment, before the three of us were going to leave the restaurant. We sat around the table and talked shit about family members. And then! Suddenly, Z lowers her voice to a whisper and says, "I have something to say about Tiny DingleBerry."
I listen in, trying to catch the gossip. I almost regret this action of sheer stupidity and curiosity in its irresistible form. I had no idea, in that moment, that I would be plagued with horrifying mental images forever. Stupid, stupid me.
Z's lips turn into a smile as she tries to hold back a laugh.
"He's insecure about his penis," she says. "It's tiny."
*record scratch*
Hold the fuck up. Did she just say what I think she said? Well, yes, she did. Apparently Crystal told her that Tiny Dingleberry has a tiny, well, dingleberry. I laugh and my face goes red. I'm both horrified and amused.
But wait! No, this is not what I'm screaming "WTF" about. It's what she said after.
"He's upset because he's scared he won't be able to get the girl he likes pregnant," Z says.
Cue my jaw dropping, eyes widening, face twisting in an ugly concoction of pure horror and disgust. The food I had just consumed works its way back up but I hold back so the poor bus boy doesn't have to sop up my puke with a wet dishrag.
This wouldn't be as bad if the girl he's completely infatuated with knew he exists and/or is actually dating him. He's having these sexual fantasies about some girl he's not even dating! He's been trying to get this girl since around last summer, but no luck. He's bought her gifts, sent her notes, and did all this cutesy high school crush bullshit, but she's not caving. I don't blame her.
It disgusts me that, not only is he fantasizing about having sex with her, he's fantasizing about getting her pregnant. WHAT THE FLIPPITY FUCK?! HE IS 14 YEARS OLD. JESUS CHRIST!
I hope she doesn't fall for it. This really put the final nail in the coffin for me. I was right. He is creepy and disgusting. I don't even wanna be around him now. I'm actually very mentally disturbed by him and won't be able to look at him the same way ever again.
I have a feeling he's stalking her. I'm just to weirded out that I do t want to stand near him again. Now every time I look at him, I'm gonna think "TINY DICK!" or "CREEPER! SEXUAL FANTASY! CREEPER!"
Z told us not to tell that she told us, or else Crystal will have her head. I think it's funny that he's got a tiny dick (even though that's not an image I want to ever see) but I also feel like puking.
The conversation turned into genitalia, even my own, but I'm very open about that. I'm willing to talk about my vagina like it's no big deal, because it isn't. I do think that nudity and sexuality aren't things to hide.
We started talking about how Z lost her virginity in the back of this guy's mom's car (and how God gave her virginity back, but that was another WTF moment for me), and I said that my hymen has broken already. I must've torn it while exercising, but I'm happy it's gone now.
But the whole ride home, all I could think about was Tiny Dingleberry's dick and how he has these fantasies. I'm very mentally shaken by this, more than I should be, I think.
I'm more upset that Crystal went and told people about this. When your kid confides in you about something personal or sexual (no matter how funny it is), I think it's wrong to break the trust and tell people.
I wouldn't be mad if my mom told someone about my vagina or what I do, because I'm open about it and not afraid to talk about it. If someone asks me about sex or whatever, I don't hide anything. Yeah, if you want to know anything of anything sexual about me, I'll tell you. I don't care.
But some people don't want others to know. I did get a good laugh (and about a dozen gags) out of it, but still.
He's a fucking creep, to be honest.
Needless to say, I hope that girl dodges a bullet and stays away from him. I doubt she will fall for it, but still. One upside to him being dirty and gross is that no girl wants to be around him. Maybe his stench is natural creep repellant.
Satan help that poor girl if she falls in his trap.
~
Just. . .I feel sorry that I had to hear that.
~
Sierra 🌙