This is the third installment of the Rant Time series, in which I rant about several things, including controversial topics and everyday life. I tell stories of my life, give advice to those in need of it, and of course, rant about things that make...
In all my time getting caught up in work and school, I've lost track of time. Everything has passed me by. Spring, summer, beginning of Junior Year, and soon Halloween. How?! How have I just flown through time? I close my eyes for a minute during the hot summer, and bam, I'm in the crisp autumn weather when I open them.
I could have sworn I just turned 16 a week ago. That's how it feels. But in reality, I'm damn near 17 years old.
I'm both happy and disheartened that this year has passed so quickly. Happy that I got to see so many things and have so many amazing experiences and dodge the hard ones with a soft blow, but disheartened that it's coming near the end of the year and I'm getting older without having time to enjoy the moments.
Time has fucked me in so many ways. My life is flashing by. When I think about it, the past two years passed in the blink of an eye. I swear I was just a fresh 15-year-old in the ninth grade. Now I'm almost 17 and heading towards the end of high school. I don't have much time left to enjoy these last few teenage years.
I think it's working that made the time pass. Doing the same thing everyday is tedious but definitely passes time. I go to work in the early afternoon after school, and before I know it, it's time to call it a day and come home. The weeks are just way over my head.
I'm still bewildered into thought of how it was just August last week and I was getting myself ready for school but now it's late October and I need to start picking out my costume makeup. Next I'll need to pick out a hefty Thanksgiving turkey and mix up the chocolate fudge. It'll happen before I know it.
I'm excited, though. It's the holidays and I'm excited to see what kind of shit storm is happening this year. I'm actually excited to see the drama this year. Now that I've changed drastically as a person over the past ten months, I'm ready to see peoples' reactions when I'm not the Sierra they remember a year ago.
Wow, she's still wearing black but a different style! And are those rainbow sneakers?
Wow, her hair is long and bright purple!
Wow, she's not wearing her glasses!
Wow, her acne is clearing up!
Wow, she's gay!
Who the fuck is this? Sierra? Are you sure?
I'm just happy to be someone else after all these years. I'm not completely satisfied with myself yet, but I'm on my way. It's just scary to see how fast time passed and how quickly I've changed.
No one knows about my girlfriend (my mom knows I "like" her but not that I actually love her and we're together) but they'd be surprised if I was brave enough to tell them. No one knows what I've had to go through to change. Some of it came naturally--almost inevitable--but some took some serious dedication and effort.
Watching myself change is so weird. My boobs have filled out, I don't have that much of a baby face anymore, my hair is getting long and flowing, I should get my braces off soon, I don't wear my glasses often anymore (although I should but those contacts won't go in).
Physicality aside, I've just changed. I have my pissy days but I have those days where I get up hyped and ready to go. I never used to be that way. Everyday used to be a drag and a challenge, but sometimes I actually look forward to getting up in the morning and starting my day. Yeah, I get tired because I'm juggling several things, but it works out in the end. I still have those days where I feel hopeless and depressed, but it's just a part of my life that'll never go away. That's okay.
I think time really hit me when that first set of Christmas gifts got delivered and I had to wrap them up solemnly and confusingly, wondering what the fuck was going on. It's almost Christmas. Almost 2018. I'm a year older and a year wiser and that's terrifying.
And this book will end soon! It's almost November, which will mark the end of this book! Never fear, there will be another, of course. This book will officially end on November 26th, 2017. Rant Time 4 will be out on November 26th, 2017 as well. It's exactly 38 days away! See? Time really has gone!
I really want to see what the last of 2017 has for me. My favorite time of year is here and I wanna make the best of it before I'm snapped into my 20s, which is gonna come faster than I think.
That reminds me, I gotta find my Halloween lights and break out the shiny Christmas gift paper! ~ Just wanted to share this. :) My pride shirt with a personalized necklace.
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