Rant Time 3

People Who Don't Want Dogs are Selfish (SATIRE)

100% humor/satire. Don't get offended.
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My dogs are my babies, my entire world. I love their soft fur and cute puppy dog eyes, and the way they curl in my lap--even my 40-pound Pomeranian/Chow mix--is just sweet and brings so much joy. I can't imagine living a life without my pups.
That being said, there are so many selfish people out there who won't even consider adopting a dog. How self-absorbed does one have to be to ignore the beauty and joy that comes with owning a dog? How can someone ignore the unconditional love they show for you?
Whenever I come home, my dogs are there to greet me. The excitement on their faces when I walk through the door is what motivates me to wake up in the morning. They jump at my legs and my chihuahua brings her ball to me to play. Who doesn't want that?
Of course it's a lot of work caring for a dog, especially multiple at one time, but it's completely worth it. We spend hundreds--probably thousands--of dollars on our dogs each year, they hog my bed, and yes, I have to deal with the piss and shit and maybe some vomit here and there, but it's what makes me a better person than you, you selfish, inconsiderate asshole.
Oh you have kids? Pff, that's nothing! Try caring for multiple dogs at once! Try getting up three times a night to let them outside for a pee, but don't forget to disarm the security system or else the police will be knocking at your door! Try having to switch their foods back and forth because it gives them gas. Try randomly stepping in a puddle of piss or a pile of shit and clean it up with toilet paper afterwards.
Not to mention the money! So you spend your money on vacations to exotic islands and cruises? I can't do that, because I have dogs to care for! I have to spend so much money on their food, toys, clothes (baby clothes for my chihuahua, of course), and vet bills. But how can money actually compare to the love you get from your dogs?
Dogs bring so much joy in your life that you won't care about money or stupid travel trips. But go ahead and be selfish. Spend your time thinking about yourself instead of caring for a dog that would love your attention.
Why wouldn't anyone not want a dog? Puppies are so precious! There's nothing cuter or more innocent in this world than a puppy. Your snot-nosed, tit-sucking baby will never compare to my precious puppy.
How does one simply live a life without a dog to fill that empty void? They know for a fact that they're lonely and selfish, but they won't own up to it because that's how they are. They don't want to become--heaven forbid--one of us, the filthy dog owners!
I pity them. I truly do. They're seriously lacking something in their lives. You mean nothing if you don't have dogs. And you can't have at least one, either. That's practically neglect! Your dog needs a brother or sister to play with and to keep them company while you're away (even though you don't want to be).
And heaven forbid you take your precious darlings to the kennel. Why would you trust some filthy cage to be a temporary home for your dogs? Haven't you heard of the abuse that goes on there?! Stay home and care for them or you're selfish!
Of course I sound like an idiot and I'm probably not convincing you to get a dog, but guess what? I have dogs that keep me up all night long and I'm a bit sleep-deprived. But it's totally worth it in the end. There's nothing more perfect in this world than a dog!
And to all those selfish people who don't have dogs, say hi to mine when I walk past you! They have feelings, too! Don't neglect them just because you have an empty void. Bear loves meeting new people and appreciates it when you say hi and pet his head. So do it.
If you don't like the obnoxious, idiotic posts I plaster all over social media twenty times a day, you can unfriend me, because I don't need your toxicity. If you don't like hearing about my dogs, you can just leave. My dogs are my entire world. How dare you insult them and not think they're cute?! Roxie and Bear will be more successful than your stupid baby anyway.
I'm sorry if I can't spend time with you. I have pets, for Christ's sake! They take up a lot of my time and effort! Don't get so hurt if I just ignore you and ditch the plans we had. It's what happens when you have dogs.
I'm thinking of getting another dog soon, a bulldog, because that's what selfless people do. They take in animals and care for them. Yes, go home and care for your children, waste your life withering away without a dog. When you're on your deathbed, you'll regret not having one. You'll finally see the error in your life. I hope your selfishness was worth it.
~
I got a good laugh out of that! This is what those parents who don't like childfree people sound like. You see how annoying this is? It's probably funny to you because you know I'm just messing around, but parents actually think this way about childfree people. Please don't be one of those parents.
My mom does actually want a bulldog. We have a family friend who breeds them and will sell us one for $2000. My mom wants one for her birthday.
Good news, I get my braces off for good in five months. They already took a couple pieces out yesterday.
Here are my babies:
Bear (who will be 12 years old on the 15th!):

Roxie:

~
Sierra 🌙