Rant Time 3

"Opinionated"

I'm back, bitches.
As I'm putting my photo albums together for you to see, my aunt waltzes in after work and plops her lazy ass down. Of course she tells me about her day, as if I give two flips of a flying fuck. She told me that Z visited (with her cheapskate self) the store my aunt works at to buy (not buy, put on hold because she can't afford it) a dress, and started talking to her as if my aunt didn't have to do her job.
This. . .woman has some choice words for my aunt. She must not be aware that my aunt comes home and explains her day to my mom and I in great detail. Z have her the third degree, asking a million questions and flying off her rocker.
So did they have a good time?
Did they have fun?
Did they say anything about me?
And on and on and on.
And then she said, "They're [my mom and I] very opinionated."
One thing you need to know about Z is that she loves to beat around the bush and insult people through what sound like compliments. So when she says "opinionated," she means rude. And when she says "they," she means me.
There is only one slight issue I have with this. She cannot complain about me being opinionated, AKA, a fucking rude, no-manners-having bitch. Because on the duration of our trip, I explained to her that I was strongly filtering myself so I didn't say anything offensive, because it's true, I'm very opinionated and rude.
And she told me, and I quote, "You're among friends here. You can speak your mind. Don't be afraid."
Okay.
Of course my mom gave me this look that said, "Don't. Just fucking don't."
See, my mom knew. She fucking knew what I was going to say. She knew this would end in tears. But fuck the tears, I'm tired of this bitch I call Z. I ignored my mom's warnings and stopped filtering. Holy shit. I had absolutely no shame.
I think I offended Z at least once during the trip after that. Like when she was pressuring me to see the Butchart Gardens in Canada although I was tired and going through an episode where I wanted to be violent.
"I've seen enough fucking flowers this week."
It startled her and she slinked away, sadly and slowly. Do I care? No. Did I care? No.
What I want to know is, why would you tell me to speak my mind and feel free to share my opinions and then have the nerve to say, "she's too opinionated"?
Fuck. Off.
I don't know what tone she said it in, but it does bother me a bit. Yes, I realize I'm opinionated. Yes, I realize I can't stop what comes out of my mouth. Yes, I realize I can be unintentionally rude at times. But in today's society, we cross "honesty" with "rudeness." I love being honest and opinionated, but people get offended.
Never, ever in your fucking life ask me for my honest opinion, or tell me I'm free to speak my mind, and have the nerve to get upset when I give it to you. Just don't ask me for my opinion. If you're a person who gets easily offended, don't ask me for an opinion. Don't ask me to speak my mind.
I'm probably saying shit in my head already. Just don't.
I was perfectly aware what came out of my mouth when I said, "If you have a bunch of kids that you can't take care of yourself, you are selfish."
Z had a stunned look on her face. I didn't mean to say it, but I was aware that I may have offended her. I didn't care. This bitch had fucking said a lot of shit about me and pushed me too far. So I pushed back.
I don't regret what I said. I don't feel bad for it either. If she got hurt by my simple opinion (that she allowed me to have), maybe there's some underlying guilt. Maybe she realizes she fucked up. Asking her god for forgiveness isn't going to help her now. I should have said that. But that would have ended badly.
My mom isn't opinionated. She likes to keep drama nonexistent. Me? I really don't care. You can be offended all you want. This is why you never ask for my opinion. Because I'm asshole. A bitch. A cunt. A cunt with no manners or fucks to give.
I've told my coworkers that I say things without thinking but I don't regret it. They understand how I am. And they know not to ask for my honest thoughts on things. They know not to cross the boundaries I've set up. They like me for who I am, bitch and all.
And as for Z, I want to know why she was trying to buy clothes when she still owes my mom $400 for the hotel in Seattle. The dress she wanted was $50. Which isn't bad since it was a brand new dress in their fall line which has barely just come out.
She didn't want to pay that. So she asked my aunt for a coupon or discount. My aunt said she had to get coupons on her phone, and no, she could not get a discount on a brand new dress of a brand new line. Z proceeded to text my mom and tell her that my aunt wouldn't give her the discount so she had to put a hold on the dress.
And this bitch is going to Europe in two weeks. Flying there and then getting on a cruise ship. She can afford that but not a dress. Or the money for the hotel she's owed my mom for over three weeks.
.........................
Let's all appreciate the fact that I haven't snapped yet. Let's all appreciate that I haven't sent her a strongly-worded text using some. . .colorful vocabulary yet. Let's all appreciate that I'm not being very opinionated right now. Let's all have a moment of silence for my sanity.
I'm waiting for her to text (harass) me again. I won't be so nice. And yes, she can go crying to my mom. After all, she knows I'm very opinionated.
~
Sierra 🌙