The corpse of the past

Chapter 29: Buttercup

Chapter 29

-Katniss-

"Buttercup? Buttercup?!" I walk around in the house, trying to find that stupid cat.

I don't know why, but Buttercup is keeping himself out of the way. He never does that, so why would he start now?

Stupid cat! But I do love him. I hate myself for loving that stupid cat, but I do love him, and I want him to come forward now, I kind of miss him. I haven't seen him all day.

It has been a year since Effie left. It feels empty without her. Before she left, she used to come here to 12 every weekend. Now she clearly doesn't, and it really feels empty.

And I hate that time flies by so damn fast! I mean, just look at Finn for example... He walks, pretty clumsy, but still, he walks, and his hair is longer. So much longer. His hair is exactly like his fathers with those bronze curls and his eyes are copies of his fathers, okay, to make a long story short; his a copy of his father. Finn isn't so chubby anymore. I mean he's obviously chubby, just not as much as when he was an infant. And he can say a lot of words even though he can't put together whole sentences, but he's really good considering he's only one year old.

Peeta's and Finn's bond has only grown stronger this past year. Peeta thought that it would fade away. He couldn't have been more wrong. Finn always want to be with Peeta. Annie loves their bond, and so do I. They're so cute. I just melt inside when I see them together.

Haymitch drinks more than ever before. I don't know why, but he feels depressed. I asked him if it was about Effie leaving, but when I did, he threw me out of his house. So I know that it's about Effie. Those two grew really close as well.

Haymitch isn't depressed the same way my mother was. Only lying in the bed, not doing anything. No Haymitch drinks. A lot. I swear his gonna kill himself if he doesn't stop drinking!

Stella loves Finn so much. She always wants to play with him. She's like a big sister to him. She wants to feed him, change his diapers, put him to bed, play with him and rock him. Annie is really patient and let her do some of that. She does let Stella feed Finn with a bottle sometimes, put him to bed, and of course play with him.

Stella is also growing so fast. I asked what Greasy Sae thought about that, and she started to cry, telling me that she doesn't want Stella to grow up. But everyone grows. Everyone. Including me and Peeta. In fact, it's Peetas twentieth birthday in two weeks, and I'm planning a surprise party for him. I'm gonna invite someone that Peeta does not expect to come at all. I just hope that he'll be able to come though, we haven't talked in a while.

No, it's not Gale. He kept his promise. We do write to each other. All the time. But he also tells me that he's not coming back to 12. That his life is in 2 now. Oh well, I just hope he'll change his mind sometime. I don't think he will, but I hope he will, and how are you surviving in is world without hope? I mean, I'm basically raised by hope itself, so hope is kind of the thing I count on the most. Call me crazy if you want, but that's me. And I know that Peeta feels the same way. If you didn't have any hope when you lived in 12 when Peeta and I were kids, you didn't survive in 12.

"Buttercup?!" I yell as my throat starts to sting. Where the hell is that stupid cat? I stand still in the middle of the staircase. "ButterCUP?!"

Peeta comes running out of the kitchen and to the stairs.

"Katniss what's wrong?" He asks worried.

"I can't find that stupid cat!" I whine.

"You call him a stupid cat, but you love him? He sizzles at you, but than he purrs in your arms...? I can't put that together", Peeta laughs.