The corpse of the past

Chapter 60: My fault

Chapter 60

-Katniss-

Peeta is knocking on the door. But I've locked the door and I'm under the covers of our bed. I can't get up and unlock the door. I don't have the energy or straight to do that. All I do is crying. I cry and cry and cry.

Stella died. She died. Our little girl died. But why? I can't figure out why. I know that she was murdered. She would never ever have killed herself. I know that she wouldn't have, because she was too happy.

The knocking on the door stops and I hear Peeta walk down the stairs.

I feel unfair to him. All he wants to do is to help me, but I just shut him out.

What am I gonna do? Am I ever gonna get out if this bed? Am I ever gonna get back on track in life?

Life is not gonna be the same without Stella in the house. It's just not. We had her for three years. Three years. She was our daughter and now she died. This was what I was afraid of. Getting a child and then lose it. That is exactly what I did. Not to the Hunger Games though. No, to something else. Not by a child forced to kill other children. No, by a real murderer. 

I'm never gonna see Stella's perfect smile. I'm never gonna see her eyes glisten when she's happy or sad. I'm never gonna see her come walking through the front door. I'm never gonna see her eat a green apple which she loved. I'm never gonna hear her voice or her laugh. I'm never gonna hear her sing. I'm not gonna be woken up I'm the middle of the night being begged to sleep in her bed together with her because she had a nightmare. I'm never gonna be able to hold her in my arms. Because Stella is gone. And I'm never getting her back. Never.

How am I gonna be able to bring myself to get out of bed? How? If I get an answer to that question, I'm gonna get up.

"Peeta! Peeta can you hear me? Peeta!" I hear Haymitch shout. What about Peeta?

I hear running steps and the someone start to bag on the door.

"Katniss! You get out of there at once!" I hear Haymitch roar. "Now! Do you hear me girl?!"

I do hear him. But I don't care to tell him that.

Haymitch starts to bang harder on the door. He bangs so hard that it now actually breaks.

Haymitch crashes through the door.

"You can't keep this up Katniss! Peeta is a total wreck out there in Stella's room, and the only one you think of is yourself, you're back to being the selfish girl I once knew, but I gotta say that I liked the knew you better, the one who loves Peeta more than anything, the one who took so good care of Stella!" Haymitch shouts at.

And there I got an answer for the question I have in my head. Why should I get out of bed again?

The answer should've been obvious. Peeta. I still have got him in my life.

"NOOOO", we hear Peeta roar and I fly up from the bed and run into Stella's room.

There I see Peeta bang his head into Stella's nightstand.

I see blood flow from his head and he falls backwards onto his back on the floor, passed out.

I'm sure he was about to have another flashback.

Oh my poor Peeta.

Here he was. Only thinking about me. And here I was only thinking about me. And now he's bloody on the floor because of me. If I had come out sooner, or better yet, if I hadn't locked myself inside the room, maybe Peeta wouldn't have had a flashback.

This is all my fault. Peeta please forgive me.

"No..." I cry and fall onto my knees beside Peeta.

Haymitch comes up to me and carry up Peeta.

"Haymitch this is all my fault!" I say.

"I agree, but this is not about you right now, we need to get him to the hospital", Haymitch says and walks out of the room.

I follow Haymitch. He's words actually hurt me. But I can't deny that he's right, because he is. This is not about me. This is about Peeta.

My poor Peeta.

We get to the hospital and they take Peeta away immediately.

I start to scream and try to run after but Haymitch pick me up and shoves me over his shoulder and I start to hit his back hard with my fists as I continue to scream.

Peeta can't die. He can't die. I can't lose him too. I need him.

Peeta please stay alive.

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🖋802✒️

Hey guys the book is slowly coming to an end :( it's about ten chapters left.

I hope you liked the chapter.

Please vote and comment to tell me what you guys thought about this chapter, I really want to know what you thought so please tell me.

-Josephine xx