The corpse of the past

Chapter 64: Why?

Chapter 64

-Katniss-

I need to find out who murdered our daughter. I can't go one and live if I don't know who did it.

I walk around the district.

I told Peeta that I needed fresh air. He wanted to come of course, but I told him not to, and after a small fight he let me go alone.

I feel disgusted over myself for starting a fight with Peeta. Why did I have to do that? Have I learnt nothing after everything?

Peeta told me that he didn't want me to go alone after this with Stella being murdered. But I told him I would be fine.

I sit down on a big stone. Looking up at the sky. It's evening, and the sky is full of stars. One star, is shining brighter then the others.

I think it's Stella. The sky have now got one star that is always going to shine brighter.

I can't think of anything else but Stella, and now this stupid fight with Peeta.

I feel tears flow down my cheeks, why did I start a fight with Peeta?

I stand up and run. I run and run until I come to the woods.

The trees are even darker in the dark evening and the woods have never looked so welcoming before.

I run straight into the woods. My hideout in hard times.

I run up to the tree where I keep my bow and arrow. I haven't been here and I haven't been hunting for a while now.

It always use to calm me down, hunting.

I try to focus. I try to find animals, but I can't. My sight is way to blurry because of my tears.

I can't stop thinking about those awful things I said to Peeta before I left.

(Flashback)

"I'm going out", I tell Peeta, walking towards the door.

"Wait what?" Peeta asks, coming out of the kitchen.

"I need some fresh air", I mumble and open the door.

Peeta run past me and closes the door, looking at me as he shakes his head.

"Katniss I don't know..." He begins but I interrupt him.

"Cut it off! I can take care off myself", I hiss.

"Please let me come with you it you really want to go out", Peeta begs.

"Didn't you hear me Peeta?! I said no! I can take care of myself thank you very much!" I raise my voice. "I don't need you to come along! I can go by myself okay?"

"Katniss I don't want to lose you too", Peeta says. "Again".

"Then I suggest that you move out of my way!" I mill at him. "I want to take a walk without you, because I want to be alone and I can take care if myself! I've been in two Hunger Games and one rebellion for god's sake, I can take better care of myself then anyone else, except maybe Johanna, but that's not the point, the point is that I. Want. To. Be. Alone!"

"So can you at least tell me where you're going?" Peeta asks in a smaller voice, not wanting to participate in the fight I have started.

"Why? So you can go after and spy on me?" I shout. "I don't have to tell you anything about where I'm going because I'm free to go wherever I want to go because I can! And you have nothing to do with where I'm going, so no! I won't tell you where I'm going!"

"Katniss I..." Peeta tries but I just interrupt him again.

"Stop! Don't try to Katniss me right now! I have to be alone and if you don't get that I can just move out!" I shout as I open the door and run out.

(End of flashback)

Why did I say that? Why did I say that I was gonna move out? I don't have any plans on moving out. I don't have any plans on leaving Peeta. I mean, I should I? I love him with all my heart and more.

Why the hell did I say that?

I just put back my bow and arrow in the tree.

I put my hands to my head and try to block out every little bit of sound that can enter my ears. I must really look like a madman. But I don't care.

I stand up.

I have to go home to Peeta. I can't get his face out of my mind. How his face looked like when I said that last thing.

Why did I do that?

I start to run.

I run into the district.

But then I see Annie. She's running around, crying.

"Annie!" I shout and run up to her.

She turns around and sees me.

"Katniss!" She shouts and runs up to me.

She runs straight into my arms, crying.

"Annie what is it?" I ask, stroking her hair.

"Finn... Finn, he's missing", Annie cries.

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