This heart will start a riot in me

Chapter 26

After I hugged Taylor he helped me up and walked me Into the bedroom. I sat on the bed as Taylor went Down the stairs to get the first aid kit. I looked at all the cuts on my arm. they where really feel but not to deep tang I had to go to hospital.

I've done this before and fainted the only thing was no one found me. luckily I woke up or I would have been gone. my mom never new about me cutting and even to this day she still doesn't.

I hid it from her, I hid it from everyone but the guys. they seemed to be the only people who where there for me, my own mom wasn't. she didn't care that I got bullied in school or I felt like I was worthless. all she cared about was making everyone else around her miserable and guess what she made me so miserable and guilty for my dad leaving that I started to cut.

It wasn't even my fault that my dad left. she cheated on him so many times but my dad stayed with her until it got to much for him. I don't blame him for running because I nearly ran to but I couldn't leave Erica with her. I will never blame my dad for leaving us or moving to Cali. he put up with her crap for so long just so he didn't leave us without a dad.

After he left things only got worse. my mom started to be miserable and would shout at us for absolutely anything. she made me feel so small and like I was nothing to her. Erica was a different story, even though she got shouted at, my mom treated her like her daughter unlike me. I can't blame Erica for that she was only young.

I put up with her crap until I found a apartment and left. I only got on with her for Erica and mckaylas sake. I knew if I didn't get on with her then I couldn't see my sisters and there was no chance that was going to happening.

Now I was finally free of her and I couldn't be happier. I hate her for what she did to me and my dad. she's nothing but a ignorant bitch who cares about no one but her self and I can't wait when Erica and mckayla grow up and realize it because she will have no one and I'll be standing laughing at her.

Taylor came back up the stairs with the first aid box and knelt down In front if me. I held my hand out as he started to clean the cuts with that sting liquid that burns your cuts. ouch

" I'm sorry hayles " Taylor said

" What for ? " I asked

" For ever cheating on you and putting you through that heartbreak, if I never done that you wouldn't have been in franklin. you wouldn't have got knocked over and you would still have our baby inside you. I can't help but think that This is all my fault " he replied

" T don't ever think This was your fault. god did this for a reason remember and we will soon find out what it is " I said

" I'll always blame my self hayles, I put you through so pain in the last month. I'm so sorry " he said as he cleaned my cuts

" T, listen to me. you may have cheated in me but you never killed angel alright. none of this was our fault. it was god who took her from us t. " I said with tears in my eyes as I looked into Taylor's sad eyes

" no matter what you say. I'm never changing my mind I did this hayles and I'll never forgive myself " he said now putting a bandage on my arm

I sighed knowing that I couldn't win but It hurt me so much that he blamed himself for out daughters death. no matter what I sato him he's still going to blame himself.

Hey so I updated lol I usually update everyday but schools been a nightmare and I've been exhausted but I get a day off tomorrow yay 😝, I sort of let my anger out with my mum in the first part. use are probably thinking I just had a argument with my mum but nope it's worse than that. so I sort of just started writing it and then it made me think of her so I sort of let the anger I had inside me out through my book so I hope use don't mind

the first part sort of being about my life type thing just changed a little and it's in hayleys p.o.v

Nearly at 2k reads 😝 thanks for reading :)