This heart will start a riot in me

Chapter 33

It was later that day, Jeremy, kat and bliss all went home but I got to spend about 2 hours with them. We just had a laugh like we used to that was after we spoke about what was wrong with me.

Now I was lying in bed staring at the wall in front on me waiting for the doctor to Come see me about the tablets he's giving me.

Taylor was sitting in the chair next to me on the phone to peter. he was talking about guitars like usual. I listened to him as he laughed with his dad.

The door to the room opened and the doctor walked in

" I've got to go dad, I'll speak to you later " Taylor said and then hung up the phone.

" Hey hayley how are you feeling just now " the doctor asked as he picked up the clip board at the end of the bed

" Better much better now that I've had pain relief " I replied

" alright we have went through your tests and we found that your pregnant, 2 months actually " he said

" Im..im...im pregnant " I said surprised

" Wait what does this mean ?" Taylor asked

" Well, if you have the chemo it will harm the fetus. The chemo can kill your baby inside you. there is also the option to have a abortion. if you pick to carry the baby you won't live. You will have enough time to carry the baby and maybe a couple of months after that but if you don't take this chemo in the next couple of days then that's your life gone " the doctor said.

" I'm keeping the Baby " I said

" Hayley think about this, " Taylor said

" I'm not letting my unborn baby die, I've been through it before I'm not letting another child of mine die no way " I said

" Hayley this means ending your own life " the doctor said

" Yes I'm aware of that but I'm not letting my baby die, I've lived my life it hasn't. " I said

" Hayley please don't do this " Taylor said with tears in his eyes

" I'm sorry t but I can't let our baby die, I may not be here to look after it but you can. you can be a amazing dad to our beautiful baby. " I said, now I had tears in my eyes

" I'm going to give use time to talk it through " the doctor said before leaving

" Hayles you cant leave me, I can't live without you " Taylor said now crying

" I'm so sorry t, you've got to see that I can't let our baby die. I don't want to die either but if it means I keep our baby alive then I will. please don't ever hate me for doing this " I said and took his hand

" I could never hate you hayles, your the only girl I will ever love " he said and then wiped his falling tears away

" I will alway love you t, this is going to be hard for both of us but we have to be happy. I want my last months to be filled with happy memories. I want us to get married and be happy and then after you know I pass away, I want you to be happy. I don't want you to cry over me or be miserable everyday. your going to be a amazing dad to our baby and I'll be up in heaven watching you all the time. " I said now crying a little

Taylor broke down crying. i moved over on the bed and patted the side next to me and Taylor came and lay next to me. I held him as he cried. A

I hated seeing him like this, knowing I caused him to feel this way. I couldn't let our baby die, not after angel. I've done everything in my life that I've wanted to do and even though I'm only 25 I've lived most of my life. I've been happy all the time and even though me and Taylor have had out ups and downs our love has still remained stronger than ever.

I don't think there's been a single day that I've regretted ever dating Taylor. I may have said it because I was angry but I've never meant it. not a day go by that I regret having a affair with him when I was dating chad. everything that's ever happened, happened for a reason. like my gran said angel got took away from us because something was going to happen. I guess this was what it was.

When I said that the world could hit us with anything and we would get through it I didn't have this in mind. Maybe we might not get through it but at the end of this there will be a beautiful baby. I may not be alive to see my baby grow up but I know that Taylor will make a amazing dad and our baby will grow up to be a beautiful person.

Taylor will be amazing and I know he will get through life without me. it may be hard but he's a strong dude and he will always know that I'm looking down on him. He's my everything and I can't wait to marry him and have our baby. The next 7 or 8 months are going to be the best that they can be. I'm going to marry Taylor and spend the next how ever many months I have left being happy with my friends and family. you know you should live your life to the fullest because you never know when it's your time to leave.