My Little Pony: is Friendship Magic?

3-6; Mouth for War

'Claustraphobic, crawl out of this skin. Hard explosive, reaching for that pin. Fear thy name extermination, desecrating hail of fire. So we cross. That. Line. Into the crypt, total eclipse, suffer unto my apocalypse! ~ Metallica'

Garret PoV:

"Look, I don't have a lot of time. Goddamn it listen to me. Hey!" I was slapped by myself, but more cut-up and hurt. 'I' was wearing armor, royal Canterlot style. I had apparently been through something serious. "Listen." He slapped me again. "Listening?" He poked my nose, and I sneezed. An animal sneeze. "Now, I'm going to die when I go back where I came from. Neither of us want that. I'm dead. Remember that. I'm also you. See what I'm saying? You're gonna die 'lest you comprehend what I say. You have to train, prepare, work yourself. War is coming to Equestria, and I was supposed to be a godforsaken hero. All we are now is a martyr. You've gotta whip that mind into shape or Equestria is doomed." He looked at me, his eyes a melancholy blue and tearing up. "Twilight... Is doomed." He began to disappear. "You've only got two wee-" And just like that, he was gone.

I'm not exactly sure what just happened. Twilight, and all of Equestria, doomed? I have to play hero twice? How, why, and who?

"T-Twilight?" I looked around and scratched the back of my head. I had just gotten out of bed. Apparently the other me was in a war? I've got things to do then.

"Yeah? What was the speech for?" Twilight slowly sat up in the bed.

"Well, I didn't do it. Ask the other, no-longer-here me." I flattened my ears.

"Um. Don't tell me; future you was here." She sighed as I nodded, "Buck. I've met future me, and I don't like her. What'd he say?"

"I'm supposed to be a hero, but with who I am now I'm just gonna be a martyr. Reeeeal quick, what's a martyr?" I cocked my head.

"Well, uh..." She had a tear in her eye, "It's somepony who dies for their cause." She blinked away the tear. "We've got one option... You're becoming hero material."

"In a body I can't work right, with wings that-" My wings randomly popped out, "-... Do that, and magic I can barely work? You expect me to be ready in two weeks?" I looked at Twilight, "He said that Equestria, and you would be doomed."

"Yeah. I'm not," She yawned, "Even sure who'd attack us, much less what you've got to do to win a war."

"Well maybe Shining has an idea?" I cocked my head.

"Yeah. He's got to. He just has to."

I turned away from Twilight and somberly walked downstairs, where Shining had been sleeping on the couch. My hair was a mess and my body out-of-shape. Not overweight, but literally underweight. Frail, my bones showing.

"Shining. Don't talk. Listen, 'kay?" He nodded, "I talked to myself from the future and well-"

Celadon walked in, and sat on the couch like nothing was happening. Wow, thanks. "Cell, important, non-you things going on. Please exclude yourself." He nodded and shrugged, walking out of the room without another word.

"Future you, and?" Shining cocked his head.

"Well, future me and he said I'm to be a hero in a war in two weeks' time. This," I gestured to myself, "Isn't a hero. Got any ideas?"

He sat still a second, and smiled a wide grin. "I've got a few. You have to come home with me." His smile grew, "And you've got to get your ass kicked."

"Um, what?" I cocked my head, surprised he said 'ass.'

"I'm going to train you, the way a Canterlot soldier is trained, 'cept also with the wings and horn both added. You'll be a machine when I'm done." His grin practically split his face in half.

I don't trust him, not at all. I told him so.

"Garret. You wanna be a warrior, you gotta be trained." He spoke in a serious tone, the smile faded. I puffed my cheeks out and nodded.

***

Celadon PoV:

Well then. Totally just got pushed out of the living room. That's quite kind of my host, eh? I don't mind, it's no big deal to me. I figure Twilight could use some company, because Garret's leaving and all. I think he's leaving, he's got his bags packed and he's leaving with Shining. So apparently Twi could use a pony to talk to.

"So, wanna talk?" Twilight asked, having just sat down on the couch next to me. Garret and Shining just left, so I figure I should get to know my hostess better.

"Y-Yeah, I could chat." I chuckled and began peeling away at her layers. She was tender-hearted for her friends but cold as ice for her enemies. She had a thirst for knowledge, deep in her mind. There's a whole complex tower of sanity built in her head, but Garret can topple it all in seconds. She really loves him. She doesn't have a good reason either, it's all just pure love. He isn't anything special, I can't see what she sees.

"Yeah, I'm up for some talking. So, it's just us-"

"And me." Terra called from a pile of books in the corner.

"-Here, and I'm preggers. I'm not going to be doing much of anything but worrying for Garret. I want you, if you don't mind, to help me find a few things." Twilight smiled a warm smile.

"Find a few things?" I cocked my head. I don't know what she could possibly need me to get?

"Yeah, I have a few books I want to get, but I can't climb the ladders to get them. Even being recently pregnant. I don't want to get used to having to do things then not be able to." She chuckled. She was telling the truth. Lies come up on the mask you put out.

It's the least I could do to help her out.

***

Garret PoV:

"Nice place." I smiled to Shining, but he just gave me a look that signified how stupid I was. It was a one room house, and thinking about it it's probably just the place he's going to be training me for the next couple weeks.

"It's your place for the next couple weeks. And we start..." He tackled me to the ground in the time it took me to blink, "Now." He touched his horn to my forehead and I felt the blackness of sleep overcoming me. "Treat this like you're at war. I'm not gonna be nice." Was the last thing I heard before sleeping.

***

What. The. Buck. I guess it's happening now. *shrugs* I have a feeling I don't even know what's gonna happen.

*raises eyebrow* Nopony at all has anything they want to say?

I'm gonna incorporate you all again.

Who or what is Garret fighting? An evil version of himself? Discord who still has the elements? Chrysalis? Cinnamon? A grue? You guys can pick I guess.

If you don't pick something I can write I have a backup.

Love you, even though we've never met.

Oh, InfectiousBrony I want to publicly bring something up. You're a good author, don't beat yourself up on a lack of inspiration. I feel like this story's a piece of shit even though everyone loves it. Your stories are awesome.