The Story Of Me.

Friends With Benifits

                        TRIGGER WARNING SELF-HARMING

            It all started with that kiss...now I am in pain knowing that he was just a player. Here I am in the hallway of my school seeing Alex making out with some blonde. I don't know why I feel like I have been ripped into shreds but I do feel like that. And I don't like that feeling. I ran into the nearest bathroom.  I was looking in my bag when I heard some girls talking about me. "You know that girl Alissa?" Some girl asked, "The one that wears band t-shirts and has bad taste in music?" Some other girl asked. "Yeah her well she developed a crush on Alex and I took him from her like she takes all the guys away from me!"  She laughs and they walk out. I cry and find my blade .

             "Hello old friend long time no see," I chuckle. I slide the blade over my skin as I watch the blood drip from my wrist I smile and cut more. I stop when I hear someone walk in. The person sat against my stall. "Alissa I know your in there." It was Joss. "Talk to me and don't say nothing is wrong i could see your blood when I first walked in." I sighed in defeat. "The thing is I don't know why I even try to be his or even try to be the girl my family might have wanted when I know I will never be the girl who goes out and enjoys life, gets good grades, ...or even gets a boyfriend." I can't believe I just said that. "Alissa you are who you are and you are perfect to me I couldn't ask for anyone else to be my best friend." But when he said the 'best friend' part he whispered it. I am starting to think he wants to be more then friends and, I don't know why I'm not really his type of girl at least I don't think I am. "Joss..." I say his name, he hums in response. "Thanks for being here for me...even though I am not the bestest friend towards you." He sighs. "I don't know if you are going to believe me but Alissa I care for you a lot more then you think I do. And it hurts me to see you like this." He took a deep breath, I can tell he is crying now. I open the door and hug him, he hugs back. I gasp as I see the blood seeping through his shirt. I pull away and he frowns, "Whats wrong?" I point to his shirt. He shrugs "I got blood on your shirt." I told him still crying. "I don't care I wanna make sure you are okay even if that means I get a little bit of blood on me." He told me with love and sadness in his voice. He opened his arms for another hug and I accepted it. We sat there holding each other on the bathroom floor.

                                                                  time skip at lunch

                      As me and Joss got our lunch's we couldn't help but hold hands as if we were together and it made me happy. It gave me this buzz of electricity and a bad case of  butterflies. I don't know why though I have never felt this way with him. Maybe its because I opened up to him? I don't know. We sat inside of the library today and we sat close to each other. I finished eating and I copied the notes I missed. I think I might have feelings for two boys oh god this isn't going to turn out good.