Chapter 40

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"Dude, I was actually thinking super long for something catchy to say but I all I could think of was 'You did taste like alcohol' but I'm also not trying to spark those memories.", at first I'm super confused as to who that raspy voice could belong to but when a girl with an undercut and two black spiderbites on her lower lips steps forward, I recognize her immediately.

"Leslie! I would have never expected you here!", I croak, wiping tears off of my cheek and beaming at her widely. "Surprise, I guess.", she chuckles,her voice is low compared to the other females here, matching her rather androgynous appearance. "Good surprise though!", I admit,pulling her down for a hug and feeling new tears well up and clouding my vision again. "I'm glad.", her cheeks brushes past mine as she stands back up straight.

"Sweetheart!", my ears flinch, which felt extremely weird and unfamiliar but I still focus on the couple squeezing past all of the people that gathered around my bed. "Mom, Dad!", I giggle at the two weeping adults, even my father not being able to hold back quiet sniffles.

"Baby. How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?",she asks, the mere sound of it causing me to shiver slightly. "I'm Good, mom, I'm more than good! I missed hearing your voice so much!", the blonde woman fights back a fit of tears and simply smiles.

"Son, I'm so proud of you. Going through with this took some guts. And you had them!", I look at my dad who places a warm hand on my shoulder,griping it with a comforting strength. "Thank you, dad!", I place my hand over his and peel it off to hold it in mine instead, smiling up at him. My father leans down to kiss my forehead, his free hand ruffling through my most likely messy hair, wrapping it around my mom's waist soon after.

"There Are so many things I... we want to tell you but I can't find the right words.", she swallows before continuing, "You've been through so much more than just loosing your hearing and I am so sorry for all of it. I feel like such a failure as a mother whenever I remember how broken and hurt you were and I didn't know what to do. I am so so sorry. I should have been there for you." Her eyes tear up even more, the blue in them resembling an ocean even more now. I didn't get the chance to say anything, instead dad took over her little speech, seeing as his wife is barely holding back from breaking down herself.

"We Should have helped and engaged with you more, trying harder at pulling you back into life. And we're extremely glad you have and had Claire to tag along to, she really is the reason you are still here with us.", his voice breaks a bit but nevertheless he continues with strength in it. "And Nathan, he showed you something that neither one of us three could. I would have never imagined so many people here with a few more saying they'll come visit you later. You bettered even without your hearing and I can't even begin to imagine what you will be doing now that you got that back."

By the end of his speech, fifty percent of the people in this room were silently weeping and staring at my father in quiet admiration. Of Course, I was one of them. "Thank you. And mom, you shouldn't be sorry for anything! You did everything you could and that was enough.", I bite my lip but try to give her a wide grin.

"It wasn't!", she yelled, making my ears sting, "You tried to kill yourself and we didn't know! If it... i-if it weren't for C-", the last string that held her back from breaking down broke and she burst out in tears, burying her face in her husbands shoulder.

My Heart stings at her words and the memory and I look down at the hand still holding mine while tears are quietly dripping onto them. "But You said... you said it was unintentionally, right?", Nathan's confused voice hurt as well, more than I could have ever imagined. I shake my head almost unnoticeable but I knew he acknowledged it.

"Why didn't you tell me, baby?", he asks softly, his warm touch on my cheek drawing my face towards his, concerned eyes watching me closely.

"I hate talking about it, it's something I... just don't want to ever think of again.", I choke out, receiving an understanding nod and a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. My chest is still squeezing in on itself and it hurts. It hurts just remembering. It hurts just knowing that I tried. It hurts just seeing all of the looks I get sometimes whenever I don't feel good. They always thought I'd try it again.

"Well This didn't work out the way I thought it would.", Claire states, massaging her temples carefully and chewing on the inside of her cheek. "Bro, I'm sorry you have to think about it right now. How About we go get you something to eat and drink and maybe we can get the cute nurse to let you walk around already.", she offers, smiling widely before quickly dragging my parents out of the room and quietly closing the door behind them.

Silence. The beeping is the only thing you can hear and it's already driving me insane!

"I'm Sorry you guys had to hear that.", I mumble, not only embarrassed but also deeply scared of them trying to talk about it, ask the most hated question I used to get.

How'd you do it, huh? Slit your pretty little wrist? Or try to hang yourself?How'd you do it? Did it hurt? Were you pain? Or... or... or...

I start to shake, the all too familiar silence suddenly maddening and terrible.

"There Is nothing to apologize for, man. We would never judge you for anything, you know that, right?", Leslie sits down on my bed again,giving me a warm smile with bright eyes that tried their best at concealing the pity in them. Not that I'm not used to it or anything.

"Yeah, they're right, although I don't know them and have no clue in what relation you two stand, I'm still agreeing.", Mika bubbles, apparently slightly confused at Leslie's appearance.

"Same, man. I'm Leslie by the way and contrary to popular believes actually female.", she chuckles, introducing herself to him who in return did the same.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Mika and contrary to popular believes actually male.", a short wave a laughter washes through the room and I'm so glad we got away from the topic that makes me more uncomfortable than the whole thing with those assholes way back.

I could feel Nathans piercing eyes on me throughout most of the time ashe watched me closely, probably trying to read my expressions for whatever he may be looking for. My parents and Claire came back a few minutes later, the blonde woman's face tired and worn out looking, she must have been crying for quite some time even after having left the room. It hurts seeing her like this, it's not her fault, I'm really the only one to blame for all of this. They brought me food,which is highly appreciated since I haven't eaten in almost 24hours, still can't believe the surgery took almost 7 hours, a bit more than 3 hours per ear.

The pain killers they must be pumping into my body through the still attached IV is making my entire head and neck feel numb and puffy with slight stings whenever I'd move to fast or touch the pillow directly. I wonder how I would feel without though, would hurt it a lot?

Visiting Hours ended at 6pm and we are marching towards that with grand speed, much to the discomfort of my mom who always looked at me like she's going to pick that subject up again. I guess now that I can't just close my eyes and pretend she's not here she sees her chances at finally talking to me about it since we never did.

"We'll be staying over at your place and take Leslie with us!", Alex cheers, clinking her arm with previously mentioned Leslies. "Anna and Timmy will come over tomorrow and we'll go from there, okay?" I nod in return, wondering where all four of them are going to sleep. Two in my bed, two in hers? I guess that would make sense. Nathan is the only staying here over night this time and even though I'm glad he is, I'm also scared of questions. Maybe I could get Claire to tell him about how much I hate this subject, maybe then he will drop it forever like everyone else should.

"The You two have fun, try not to be too loud, there others sleeping nextdoor.", Claire teases, even getting me to blush over such a childish remark. "Shut up.", I mutter, feeling a pair of lips press against the side of my head. I turn to face Nathan who just smiles and winks at me, really not helping with the blush at all.

"Anyway, let's go before they kick us out. Zoey, Alan, it's okay for you guys if we all come stay at your place, right?", Claire Asks my parents who nod, adding a few 'of course's before they all said their goodnight's.

"We'll See you tomorrow, Nathan is going to drive you home, I brought his car here.", this time Mika speaks up before hugging me tightly. Everyone did the same before reluctantly leaving the room and letting yet again another blanket of silence coat the room heavily. I rub my lips against each other, waiting for Nathan to say something but he doesn't, we both don't.

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Shiit it's been quite a while... It a hasn't actually, a week isn't thaat long or? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a vote and a comment because I love comments more than I love myself lol!

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