Because We Met (J-Hope)

Twenty-Six

"Twice, actually," I added. "Before they dated?" Ji-ah wondered. I put my lips together. "Not really," I mumbled. I couldn't keep eye contact. Ji-ah's eyes widened. "What the f*ck are you saying, Chae?" She sat up. "Well...I told you I did some coke and got high with someone at that big party last year and I had sex with them," I began, "it was Hoseok. I was really f*cked up and didn't realize it until after but I felt so bad I couldn't tell her." Ji-ah took it in. I thought she was going to kill me. "I get it. I don't get Hoseok's side but you were f*cked and I don't get why you hung with him but it's in the past. It isn't my business. You said twice though?" I sighed. "I take full blame. I wasn't on anything, well I was high but I smoked weed so it doesn't count cause I still had my head, but I had sex with him again because he made me hang out with him. Then we just kind of...did it," I shrugged, "that was when she saw his hickeys. I really didn't want to tell anyone because I thought I would lose you guys. I know Hoseok is bad and I didn't trust him and I didn't talk to him for months." Ji-ah was silent. "It's not my business. I don't blame you for being scared to tell anyone but the fact that you did it. That was a while ago too. I would just wait until they break up to tell her," she said and laid down to sleep. I was thankful she didn't hate me.

"Who is this? Chaemi? I don't believe it! She hasn't hung out with us more than once a week for a year!" Ohjin joked a few days later. I felt bad but I knew why I was like that and now I was normal. "Hey, that's mean," Lu scolded. I shrugged it off. "Where have you been, Chae? We missed you!" Lu chirped. "Blame Jimin. He was toxic as heck but now I'm all good," I told them. "Toxic how?" Ohjin questioned. I shrugged. "He was into drugs and stuff. Definately not good." "Did he make you do them?" Lu frowned. "I messed around with some," I told her. I still wasn't lying.

It was getting to the end of the year. Our second year in college would end and we would all go to that party. I wasn't going to drink or smoke. I was planning to announce myself as designated driver. When I told Hoseok I was going, he was against it. He said it was too risky and if I went he couldn't be with me because of Lu. I would be fine. I felt it. The party was still two weeks away though so it wasn't immediate. Hoseok literally texted or called me every day about it. I wouldn't listen. I was going.