Because We Met (J-Hope)

Thirty-Four

Hoseok and I went to the grocery store together, as we usually did. I practically lived with him since I was there so much. I stayed with him at least six days of the week. My mom never got upset or asked why I didn't come home. I still didn't tell her about what happened. "Hoseok," I said as I picked out some drinks, "I think I should go home tonight." He looked at me, leaning over the cart, and said, "if you want. I can drop you off." "I feel like I should tell her tonight," I added. He stayed silent and bit his lip for a minute. "Do you want me to be with you? I can help explain," he suggested. I shrugged and we started to move to another isle. "I think it would help. I'm scared to tell her," I admitted. Hoseok stopped and pulled me into a hug. "It will be okay, I promise," he whispered.

I thought about how she would react once I told her. I had been clean for a year; would she hate me? Would she be mad I didn't tell her sooner? Would she hate Hoseok or hate herself? I felt awful and the guilt began to eat at me. Hoseok put the groceries away and we left. I told Mom we would be over shortly.

"Is it really my daughter? Ahah it's been over a week," she hugged me tightly when we arrived. "Sorry, I got caught up," I apologized. "Caught up with my son-in-law, I see," she joked and hugged Hoseok. I didn't blame her for thinking we were together. I hung out with her for a while and then told her we had to talk. She sat down and asked what it was about. "It"s about what happened a while ago. It was over a year ago so please don't freak out. I'm fine now and everything is back to normal," I assured her before I told her. She looked worried and she could tell it wasn't going to be good. "I had a boyfriend a while back. He um...he was really bad. He was in with a bad crowd and he was doing bad things. I had gotten into some of it," I tried to explain. She looked worried again, "into what?" she asked. "Drugs."