Because We Met (J-Hope)

Thirty-One

"You can drink tomorrow, just not get drunk," he stated, "how does it feel?" I shrugged, "I don't know. I haven't drank in a long time." I wanted to drink with Ji-ah and Ohjin like we used to but Hoseok said I should wait. The whole process was like renewing myself and it took far too long. I didn't like it but I just had to think about how bad it got and I would be okay. I had only done cocaine seriously for about four months and to think that a year would be spent just getting back to normal is crazy. I didn't know how Hoseok said he could do it. I decided to ask him. "When did you first do it?" He looked at me for a minute. "I was sixteen. I had been smoking weed heavily for like a year and my friend told me to try it, so I did. Why?" He responded. I said, "I was curious. What happened after that?" I wanted to get his story without prying too much. "Well, I did it a lot. I used it heavily and I got addicted quick. I overdosed twice in my first year. A little after a year I had overdosed and almost died so I got clean because my sister found out. Recovery took a year but I didn't do anything until a year and a half later. A couple months of being back to normal and I did it again. I only did it occasionally and at parties. Around then was when I got tied up with the gang and then I had fallen in again. I quit after three months. Then my parents died and I got back into it. I started for the third time and did it for about nine months before I purposely tried to overdose. I took ecstasy, some anxiety meds, and did a ton of coke. I almost died but my sister saved me and forced me to quit. I didn't touch it until my sophmore year in college was almost over. Since then I use it every now and again but once I find myself in a dangerous place, I quit for a month or two and I can do it again," he explained everything. I was silent for a while so I could take it in. "It's not easy to control it. There is a special center that the gang uses to get everyone clean without issues and we just use that," he added in. "I see," was all I had to say. I kind of dwelled on the part where he said his parents died. I wanted to say something nice but the only thing that came out was, "where is your sister?"