Insecure

You want this.

Stone Cold - Demi Lovato

"He's just someone from school Mikey." I coo as I drop my bag and loop my arms around his neck with a lazy smile. Michael's face softens at the use of his petname before he presses his lips against mine. I know this is fucked up but I learned the hard way to go with it, I'll end up getting hurt no matter what. Plus he's the only man to have ever loved me, the only man that has ever made me feel wanted. 

After the accident he ended things so he could take over my parent's company, that didn't last long at all because the night of his wedding he was in my bed.

Not hers.

No one knows though, not even Miss Green. No one knows that I continued to let him destroy me. 

"You're mine." He says in a low voice before attaching his lips to my neck, marking me for everyone to see. "You want this yes?" He asks tilting my head up. It's his sick way of getting around me claiming he rapes me, I give him consent. The last time I denied him I thought he would force it.

But he didn't, he just simply beat the shit out of me until Vanessa came home. I love her but I hate her so fucking much. She's all I had when he left and what does she turn around and do?

She marries the fucking monster.

"Yes." I lie knowing it's saving 

"Go upstairs and wait for me." He whispers before kissing my cheek, a show of affection that I used to love from him but now it just makes my skin crawl.

**

Hours later Michael was passed out from exhaustion as I climb out of bed, my hips sore and angry with red marks from his fingers. After getting dressed I limp downstairs to begin dinner.

"How was your first day of school?" Vanessa asks after coming through the front door.

"It was fine." I mumble as I look down. 

"I know things have been hard since we lost them Sara, but you have Michael and I." She offers unknowingly. 

If I told her everything her world would explode, I would ruin yet another life.

"Anyways, we have some exciting news to tell you over dinner." She exclaims as I mix the spaghetti together.

"We're having spaghetti again?" Michael sneers from the entry of the kitchen. 

"Oh be nice babe, she's gifted academically at least. She will make a great partner in the firm for you one day." She assures Michael as my heart drops.

They have my whole life planned out for me, don't they?

Michael kisses her passionately but stares at me the whole time, I wish I could break whatever hold he has on me but I can't. No one else will ever love me the way he does.

Michael and Vanessa sit down as I serve them their plates before fixing myself some salad and sitting at the other end of the table away from Michael's grasp.

"So, as you know once you graduate you receive your inheritance Sara. Once your graduated we need you to move out." She says indifferently.

"Move out? This is the only home I've ever known!" I shout without thinking.

"You're an adult now Sara, plus Michael and I are trying to have a baby." She says reaching over and holding Michael's hand. 

"You can't." I mutter under my breath.

"Excuse me? How can you tell me what I can or cannot do with my husband?" She shrills and I cower down under Michael's violent gaze.

"What about college?" I ask covering up.

What my dear sister doesn't know would most definitely hurt her, I've cost my family enough pain. After all, it's my fault our parents are gone.

"Your inheritance is more then enough for you to buy a home and support yourself until you start at the firm sweetheart." She says in a sweet voice that makes me want to heave. 

"I see." I reply before pausing. "I'm not feeling very well, I'm going to lie down." I inform them as I throw away my untouched food, place the plate in the sink and run upstairs.

After locking my door I fling myself onto my bed and let the tears fall. It's not Vanessa's fault, she has no clue about Michael and I. She was away at college when our parents died, she transferred to the nearby college to finish school and that's when she and Michael met. She would tell you it was love at first sight but I know better then that. 

Michael seduced her, he manipulated her to fall in love with him just like he had done to me. But she doesn't satisfy him the way I do, go ahead and call me a whore or whatever but I know what I'm doing is self preservation. Even if I did say no, if I did finally stand up to him I would have no where safe to go. Michael told me he would kill Emily and her mom if I ran away.

No one knows how deep things go between Michael and I, how deep the scars run. Not Emily and not Miss Green, Mr. Styles will most definitely never know. There is no escaping this hell, there's no way out of this alive.

**

The next morning I wake up to pounding on the door. "God dammit Sara, what did I tell you about locking this fucking door." Michael bellows. I quickly scramble out of bed and pull on my school clothes. Michael tries to grab me as I squeeze past him and run out the front door. 

The school is a good three miles from my house and Emily won't be by to pick me up for another half hour so looks like I'm walking to school. Not that I'm complaining though, I need the exercise. My stomach burns reminding me that I skipped dinner last night.

"Sara? Do you need a ride?" A familiar British voice sounds as a SUV pulls up next to me and parks.

"No thank you Mr. Styles, I could use the exercise." I reply as my stomach growls loudly. 

"I think you could use some food instead love." He points out. "Come on Sara, I'll take you to breakfast." He offers and I look at him blankly as he climbs out of his SUV and holds his hand out. 

"It's ok, you can trust me."