Insecure

Please forgive me, if I need you like I do

Please Forgive Me - Bryan Adams

Ronnie offered to help me look for Roxy over the weekend but there was no sign of her and with a storm coming in I just hoped that she was somewhere warm and safe. The rest of the weekend was spent in Ronnie's art studio or cooking, we were getting to know each other fairly fast. He's 27 and moved here not only to help Liam out but to escape his ex-boyfriend parading his new husband around.

We're kindred souls in a way, both warding off men to allow our hearts to heal properly. We're both trying to find our true selves. His house was the first real place that I felt at home, I didn't have to worry about him seeing me without a bra or wearing makeup around him and I could tell he was comfortable around me. He said it felt like he had known me for years rather then days. Ronnie also helped me take care of my tattoo which is scabbing over now, he showed me how to wrap it so I can wear tights to school while it heals.

I had a top secret project I was working on the his studio, tomorrow is February first after all.

**

One of the best things about this house is my bathroom, at my old place it was smaller with a tub/shower combo but here I have a large spa like tub and walk in shower. I woke up early Monday morning ready to start the week afresh, ready to live for myself and make my own decisions as well as forgive my own past mistakes.

I set my hair up in pin curls before soaking in the tub careful to elevate my thigh so it's out of the water. Once I was done I covered my tattoo and pulled on some soft microfiber tights along with knee high boots, uniform and sweater. My long mahogany brown hair cascades down my back and I put on a light coat of mascara before heading to school.

I had to leave a lot earlier since my school was over a half an hour away, had I moved before the start of school I would of probably had to transfer. I stop through the Starbucks drive thru for some coffee and a snack before making the drive over the school, by the time I got there the bell had already rung so I was a few minutes later to class. I make a mental note to leave a bit earlier since I'm not used to the commute.

The day seemed to drag on, by the time lunch came around I was a nervous wreck. Emily begged me to go back to the deli we used to meet Harry at so I did, it was strange trying to fall back into normalcy. 

Without Harry and Roxy.

**

"Sara what is going on with you today girl? You're shaking like a leaf." Mrs. Willows says as she tries to steady my hand, I sigh and place the paintbrush down.

"I'm just nervous, I'm seeing someone today who means so much to me but at the same time I'm mad at him for the first time in a while. I promised I'd sit down and talk to him but I'm honestly afraid of what he'll say." I huff in defeat, Mrs. Willows runs her hand down my arm and takes me by the hand.

"If you're so anxious to talk to him isn't that a good sign? I mean if you were feeling nothing I'd be concerned and forbid you from seeing some boring guy, if you're this nervous that really means something." She says and I nod in understanding because she's right, so fucking right.

I jumped as the bell rang, "I'll see you tomorrow Mrs. Willows." I bid farewell before heading to Harry's office. I can hear my heart pounding out of control the closer and closer I come to his door, after taking a deep breath I knock softly and hear his deep voice bellow, "Come in."

The air leaves my lungs as I enter the room that held so many memories, Harry's broad back was towards the door allowing me to take in his presence without eye contact just yet. He's wearing a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black skinny jeans and some black boots. His hair is down in his natural majestic curls and my eyes go to his wrist to see the watch I had gotten him for Christmas.

"Hey." I squeak out awkwardly as I place my backpack down, Harry turns around and his lips part as his vivid green eyes meet my blues.

"Hello." He says softly before walking towards me, "You have a little something right there." He whispers as he brushes his thumb across my cheek, "Paint?" He asks and I nod before wiping at the spot. "I didn't know you started painting again."

"A lot of things have changed Harry." I say softly as I plop down in one of the chairs, he crosses his arms and leans back against his desk in front of me and I let out a sigh.

"What going on? How are things with Nathan?" He asks with a somber tone to his voice.

"They aren't, it was all set up by your fiance." I mumble and Harry lets out a huff of frustration before squatting in front of me with his hands on my knees.

"She was never my fiance Sara." He says softly and I furrow my brows at him.

"But the ring-"

"This ring?" He asks as he holds out the beautiful emerald ring I had seen on Lottie's finger, "This was never hers to wear, she went through my things and found it. It belongs to you and she knew that, she used it to hurt you and drive us apart Sara." He explains as he places the ring in my hand, "My mum gave it to me right before we left England, it had belonged to my nana who wanted me to give it to the woman who held my heart. There's a reason my mum never gave it to me to give to Lottie." He adds as he takes the ring and slips it on my right ring finger, "She never had my heart, not like you do."

Tears of happiness, relief, anger and pain come flowing out. I should of listened to him, I shouldn't of allowed her to get to me.

"I'm not mad at you Sara, I know how manipulative she can be and I didn't understand the totality of what she had done until last weekend when I saw you with Nathan." Harry whispers as he wipes the tears from my eyes, "I love you so much, no matter what." He adds as he presses his lips to the ring on my hand.

"Harry I need to tell you something." I choke out, he chews his lip nervously and nods for me to go on. "I slept with Sterling."