One Time [Montgomery De La Cruz x OC]

It's like the first breath after drowning under water.

I sat in the bathtub while soaking in the hot water and relaxing bubble bath mix. I didn't really want to take a bath but Annie set it up, convinced that it would calm me down some. I slunk down in the bath as low as I could go without submerging my face and head.  The water was scalding hot but the pain was welcome. I hadn't spoke since my meltdown at the hospital. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. I didn't know if I was overreacting or if my feelings were warranted. The thought that Hannah died hating me, was enough to break my heart. I wondered what she felt and who she thought of in those final moments of her life. Was there more going on with her than any of us realized? If she would've just pushed through one more day, I could've showed her that I proved that Bryce did rape her and maybe that would've made everything okay again. After thirty minutes of continuing to sit in silence and soak, I slowly got out of the tub and dried off. I looked in the mirror and my eyes were red and swollen from crying. That seemed to happen to me more often than not these days. I walked into my empty room and got dressed. I hoped that Monty was going to be out there waiting for me, sitting on the bed fully intending on trying to comfort me, but he was nowhere to be found. I had a pretty good guess where he was and the thought just upset me more. I wanted to call Hannah and complain to her about the ever budding relationship between Montgomery and Emma but I knew that I couldn't do that anymore. No matter how many times I called her phone, she wasn't going to answer. Not now, not  ever again. I heard Savannah whining on the baby monitor so I made my way into her room. I picked her up and sat down in the rocking chair, holding her close the whole time. "Are you sad too, little girl?" I said while rocking back and forth. I knew that she wasn't going to answer and didn't even understand but that made it easier for me to talk to her. I didn't know how to talk to anyone else right now but I would always know how to talk to my daughter. "You have a guardian angel now, Savannah. Aunt Hannah is watching over you all the time. I just know it." I whispered while petting her head. She cooed in response and it made me smile. It was the first time I had laughed in several hours and the feeling already felt foreign to me. While I was in the mood to talk, I decided to vent to my infant daughter about her dad. "You know, your daddy really confuses me. One second he's all about me and the next second he's all about...her. I'm trying really hard to stick this out but how can I whenever he keeps pushing me to the side? He didn't treat me anywhere near that good whenever I was pregnant with you. He even cut you and I both off completely not long before you were born. I really need him right now and instead he's in there catering to queen Emma. Maybe we should've moved away with grandma after all because life here sure is starting to suck." "You wish you would've moved and left me behind?" Monty's voice caused me to jump. Whenever I looked up at him, he had a hurt expression on his face. I shrugged my shoulders and looked back down at Savannah who had her eyes fixated on Monty. He gave her a small smile and reached out, removing her from my arms. "Hey baby girl, daddy loves you." He said while nuzzling her cheek with his nose. She started to giggle and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn't help but to smile. "Why do you do this, Mar? Every time something bad happens you act like I'm your enemy." He mumbled before looking up and making eye contact with me. "Your actions cause that, Montgomery. My best friend just killed herself and instead of doing everything you can to be there for me, you're playing house with Emma. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this with you. My heart can't handle anymore pain." I walked out wIth tears running down my face and left a stunned Monty standing in the same spot I left him. That night, he didn't even bother coming to bed, which just solidified my growing resentment towards him. By the end of the next day, I was tired of us tip toeing around each other so I opted to go spend a few days at Jess's house. At least over there I would be with someone who understood the pain that I was going through and wasn't more concerned with their pregnant whatever Emma was to Monty at this point. I could feel my heart breaking from the death of my best friend and I could sense that my relationship was crumbling right between my fingers. Nothing was ever going to be the same again and I knew it.