One Time [Montgomery De La Cruz x OC]

Relapse.

A/N: Tons of drama in this chapter! Mentions of drug addiction and suicide.

One week later...

I put my hand over my mouth to silence the sobs that were coming out. I was too naive and trusting. An addict is an addict, it doesn't matter how far they've come. He still hadn't come out of our room after me. I made my way onto the back porch and picked up his pack of cigarettes and placed one in my mouth before lighting it. I typically wasn't a smoker but I needed something to calm me down. I looked down at my now bare ring finger and I silently wondered to myself if I was going to find my ring that I'd thrown across my room out of anger and spite. I knew it would hurt him and the look on his face proved me right but I didn't think that I'd feel so much guilt and regret afterwards. I heard the sliding glass door gently open and I spun around only to meet Emma's sympathetic and sad eyes. "So we were right?" She questioned while also grabbing herself a cigarette. I nodded my head and took another hit of my cigarette. "I would ask what was said but I heard it all since y'all were yelling so loud." She said before sitting down in one of the chairs. I was too wound up to sit down though. "What's gonna happen now?" She whispered and I looked at her with teary eyes. "I don't know... it depends on how he's gonna act about it. If he's gonna go back down the path he did last time, I'm leaving. If he tries to fix this, then I'll stay and fix it with him. We just really have to wait and see what he's gonna do..." "I wanna fix it." We heard a whisper cry behind us and we both spun around at the sound. Somehow Monty had snuck outside without us hearing. He looked completely devastated and disappointed in himself. "You do?" I questioned hopefully and he quickly nodded his head. "I don't know what the fuck happened." He mumbled while looking down at the ground. He was too ashamed to look at us, the mothers' of his children. "Relapsing is common, Monty." Emma said, trying to cheer him up some. "It wasn't supposed to be with me though." He whispered sadly. "What happened, M?" I asked him timidly. "It's not like I thought about relapsing. I didn't want to. I just... whenever I gave you those pills the other morning.... I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. I craved them so damn bad. I've never wanted something so bad in my life and that's saying a lot. I thought I could fight off the urge but whenever I saw them still sitting on your side table whenever I got home from work I thought, what the hell? What'll a couple hurt just so I can get rid of this craving? I thought that would be it. I mean, I've been casually drinking and have been fine so why not this? I'd satisfy the craving and then I'd be done. I knew that you had way more than enough since they gave you an insane amount and I knew that you had a refill on them too so I knew that it wasn't going to physically hurt you for me to take any. So, I took two. And then I took two more an hour after that. And then two more a couple hours after that. And it just kept going on.... for days. And the amounts that I was taking was getting larger too. And then... I wanted it so bad that I decided I would satisfy that craving too. Just once. So, I went and got some dope and shot up. Not much. Enough to get me high but not enough to make it to where I couldn't take care of my kids and it would be noticeable. I've shot up three times now. This morning was the last time." He told us before slowly sitting down in the other chair next to Emma and putting his face in his hands. He was visibly shaking and I could hear his ragged breathing from crying. I couldn't believe this was happening. He was doing so fucking good. I was so proud of him... everyone was so proud of him. And now, everyone was dissapointed because everyone knew that he had relapsed. "When was the last time you took pain pills?" I questioned. "I snorted four right before you came into the bathroom to talk to me about how y'all thought I was using again." He admitted in a whisper. This was all my fucking fault. If I hadn't of forgotten to hide those damn pills instead of leaving them out in the open then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe he would've seen that they were gone and would've been able to fight away the urge. He was already struggling so bad with craving them and I'm sure getting home and seeing them still openly sitting there pushed him over the edge. "So you're high right now?" Emma asked and he nodded his head in response. I started crying again so I bit my lip to keep the sound from coming out but that couldn't hide the excessive tears flowing down my face. I felt a million different emotions running through me all at once but wanting to leave him wasn't one of them. I was going to stay and help him. A relapse can happen and I should give him the chance to prove that this was just a one time thing. It was good that he wanted to fix it and openly admitted it to me instead of trying to lie to my face. If this happened again though, I was going to have to leave him because that was going to prove that he's not capable of staying clean... and as much as I love him, that's not something I could be with or subject my kids to. I've extensively read up on addiction though and a relapse is highly common, especially within the first year after getting sober for the first time. So this wasn't an odd or uncommon thing. This wasn't just a Montgomery fucking up thing. "This is all my fault. I should've hid those fucking pills." I whispered with a shake of my head, dissapointed in myself as much as I was disappointed in Monty. Monty's head shot up first and then he jumped out of his seat and came over to me. "No. No, this is not your fault. This is all on me. Don't ever blame yourself for this again." He said firmly. I looked into his eyes and his pupils were so small they were almost nonexistent. He was really high but yet he was still carrying himself so good and humble. I could see that his eyes were very heavily lidded though and were desperately begging to close. I knew from experience that even just orally taking one pain pill would make you nod out, so I couldn't imagine how he was feeling after snorting four of them and coming down from heroin at the same time. His body was swaying around some and he was having to fight off the urge to nod off right there, even while standing. I placed my hands on his biceps to steady him and Emma stood up and placed her hands on his back to steady him from behind. "Baby..." He whispered with closed eyes. "I know, Mon. We'll talk about this tomorrow." I said in a surprisingly soothing voice while gently running my fingernails over his bare biceps. He surprised me whenever even with closed eyes, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him close. The side of my face was pressed up against his warm and naked chest and even now, it immediately made me feel calm. "I love you so fucking much, Marci Leigh." He whispered. Emma still had her hands placed on his back just in case. "I know, Montgomery. I love you just as much." I told him sincerely and I felt his tense body ease up under my touch at my words. "Emma?" He said and she responded with a "hmmm?". "I love you." He told her and it surprised us both. "I mean, you are the mother of one of my children." He explained. Clearly him being high mixed with him feeling very guilty was causing him to be sentimental. "I love you too, Monty." She responded with a soft smile. "Baby?" He said next. I squeezed him a little bit as an answer. "If you want your ring back, it's in my pocket. I understand if you don't though..." I interrupted him by shoving my hand into his pocket and digging my engagement ring out. I placed it back on my ring finger and sighed with relief. I wanted my ring. I still wanted to be engaged to Monty. And there for a little bit, I was terrified that I had lost it whenever I threw it. Monty suddenly groaned loudly and I pulled back from him to look at him while Emma peaked around him. He had his eyes closed tightly together and he pulled me back into him quickly. He buried his face into my neck and put his mouth right next to my ear. "I need you, baby girl. Please?" "What's wrong?" I whispered back concerned. "I don't feel good, it all hit me at once. My body isn't used to this anymore." He whispered back. I nodded in understanding and Emma and I helped him inside. We started to lay him down into our bed but he quickly shoved us off of him and ran towards the bathroom. As soon as he reached the toilet, we heard him violently throwing up. It was the worst thing I'd ever heard before and brought tears to my eyes hearing him suffer. But at the end of the day, I knew that he deserved it and that he had done it to himself. "Take care of him, Mar. I've got all of the babies tonight." "No, I can't do that to you. Brooklyn will be up every couple of hours to eat and that's not fair to you..." "I've got it, Marci. Just be with him and make sure he's okay." We kept interrupting each other back and forth. I stood there conflicted for a minute and then nodded my head. I knew that Montgomery needed me. She left our room and I followed behind her and went to the kitchen and grabbed a Gatorade, some Saltine crackers, and an ice pack. I headed back into the room and paused in the door way to our bathroom. Hearing the sounds of his violent throwing up and groaning was breaking my heart. I sucked it up and went in and kneeled down beside him. "It's okay, M." I comforted as I pushed his hair off of his sweaty skin. I took a hair tie off my wrist and gently pulled his hair up with it. It was so long now that it was getting in his way right now and sticking to his skin since he was sweating so bad. I rubbed his back and whispered soothing things to him until he finally was done throwing up. As soon as he threw his head back against the wall, I moved him around some and placed the ice pack on the back of his neck, opened the Gatorade for him, which he gladly accepted, and took a few of the crackers out of the wrapper so they'd be ready whenever he wanted some. While he was sipping on his drink and taking occasional small bites of crackers, I went and grabbed some mouth wash for him and then handed it over whenever he was ready. He gratefully excepted and slowly swished the liquid around in his mouth before spitting it out in the toilet and then flushing it afterwards. "Are you feeling any better?" I asked while sitting next to him and putting my hands on his knees that he had up. "I need to go to bed, Marci." He mumbled, barely even autobile. I nodded my head and helped him to his feet and then allowed him to lean on me as we headed towards our bed. I made sure to lay him down on his side in case he started throwing up in his sleep and I drug the trash can next to his side of the bed. I put the crackers and Gatorade on his side table and leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you." I whispered and he just nodded his head. Before I was even tucked in myself, he was sound asleep. I got settled in and finally decided to check my phone for the first time since everyone was informed that it was indeed true.