Broken-an Ed Sheeran fan fiction

Chapter 30

I don't remember how long I cried for. I slummped down in a pile on the side of the road lined with trees and cried and cried and cried. I cried because I had no where to go. I cried because I had no where to be. I cried because no one seemed to care. I cried because of Hunter. I cried because of Ed. 

All of our lives we had never had much of a problem, of course we got in fights over stupid stuff but I had known him forever..and suddenly he hated me. But thats not what made me upset. I understood why he would hate me, I hated me at this point, but I was pissed off because he had given me hope. He gave me hope then took it away and he expected me just to be fine. I wasn't a fucking chairty case. I was a human being and I felt things and my life was already such shit, he knew ruining my first good relationship would make it worse. But he did it anyway! He was cruel to me and he hurt me and I hated him....

No I didn't. I couldn't hate him no matter how hard I tried. Maybe that was the worst part of the enitre situation. I was still in love with him, and I would still do anything for him. I wanted to be stronger and I wanted to feel like I didn't have to depend on others...but I was so alone. It was like my life was one terrible event after another. I didn't want to whine. I didn't want pity. But now I was alone. I had no one who would pity me. I stood up, tears streaming down my face. "Is this what you watned?" I screamed. "Are you happy now that my life is complete shit? Was this all part of some great plan where everything works out? When's it gonna be my turn? Whens it.." My raspy voice stopped as my words trandsformed from screams into sobs. No one could hear me. I was on a rural road that lead out of the city. Even if someone had heard me, they would of ran away now. 

After a couple more minutes of crying, I ran out of tears. I was dry heaving and shaking but there were no more tears. I tried to steady myself, focusing on breathing heavily until I had calmed down. Though I sat back down. I was light headed. Probably because it was about 4 in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten, or gotten much sleep that night before. Maybe it was from the stress. Whatever it was, it was something that obviously wasn't going to be solved for a while. 

It was then, that I sighed in defeat. I understood nothing would be solved by my whinning. I went in the car and picked up my shattered phone (mostly out of habit) before getting my bag of clothes and heading back in the direction of where I came. It was gonna take a damn long time if I wanted to get home, I knew that, but I didn't really have much of a choice at this point. Plus, as I got towards the city, more cars would start coming and maybe one could give me a lift. Who knew. Maybe I would die before I got anywhere. 

~~

The sun had started to set, and the tempurature dropped like a rock. It was December now, and my jacket was not anything close to enough to keep out the chill. It was probably gonna take me a few more hours to get back to where I needed to be anyway. I couldn't remember how I managed to get this far off course in the first place, but I knew I was damn far away. 

As it grew darker though, trees and signs became less and less familiar. I wondered if I had made a wrong turn, but at this point, I knew turning back would be a mistake. So i just kept walking forward. Onwards in my straight path until I ended up...somewhere.  Damnit, I should have asked that police officer if I could of used his phone. I could of gotten ahold of someone and my feet wouldn't feel like they were about to fall off. I was only walking, but my lungs felt like they were on fire from so much exposure to the freezing air. I just wanted to go home. It was a shame I didn't even know where home was anymore. I knew where I wanted home to be though. I wanted my home to be where Ed was. That was my home...he just didn't want me at the moment. I didn't undestand it. I didn't understand what I did wrong and why I in this shit situation. 

My face contorted into a ball of sorrow, though no tears escaped my eyes. It was as if I had run out. Instead, I just kept walking, dry heaving and hiccuping to myself. I prayed a car or bus would pass and give me a ride somehwere, but no one did. I was stuck. 

That was, until I saw an alluminated sign in the distance. From where I stood, I could see a white sign glowing, I couldn't read what it said but it didn't matter. I finally had something to go towards. I started walking faster, despite the fact that my feet begged for me to stop. I walked faster and faster until I could make out what the sign said. Speedy Gas and Wash. It was a gas station. That meant they had warmth and food and a phone, and they would be open all night. 

I ran about two feet, but my feet wouldn't allow me to do more than that. I still forced them to shuffle further and further until finally I reached the small station. A small chime went off asI walked through the door. The door opened to reveal a little convience stop. The walls were white, to match the tile floor. Rows of candy and snacks lined up around the cashier, and in the back were freezers built into the wall holding numerous amounts of beverages. A  humming could be heard form the side of the room, where coffee and hot chocolate makers sat on a small island.

It reeked of gasoline, and the small building had lights that were too bright for my comfort, but as I came inside and felt the warmth from the heater hit my skin, I didn't even mind. There was a metal bench by the door, which I gladly let myself collapse onto. I laid there for a moment, shutting my eyes and not givign a damn about the look I knew the chashier was giving me. In the background I could hear a TV on, there were voices and laughter coming from above the counter. 

For what seemed like barley enough time for me to let out a deep breath, I heard a voice say "You okay honey?" I ignored it. After another moment, it repeated itself. "Sweetie, are you alright?" I opened my eyes and turned my head towards the counter where the old woman working was giving me a beyond concered look. 

"Yeah I just..." my voice trailed off as my eyes slipped shut once again. I inhaled sharply to keep myself form falling asleep. "Um-do you have a phone?" I mumbled. 

"Right over there sweetie." the woman said. I nodded for a moment, before forcing myself to sit up. There was a metal pay phone by the other side of the door that seemed like far too much work to get. Somehow though, I forced myself to stand. My feet protested with aches and pains, they seemed to be screaming at me.

I managed to weakly pick up the phone and dial Sophie's number. It rang twice. She picked up with a voice that was too cheery and loud for my drained and exhausted mind. "Sophie...come...come pick me up. I'm at this gas station..off Baxter and I don't..." 

I was bombarded with questions, none of which I had the motivation or energy to answer. By the end of the empty lecture I got (most of which I didn't even hear), I picked up on Sophie saying "I'm coming to get you." 

Then there was an awful buzzing noise that mde me want to cry. I hung up the phone, walked back over to the bench, and fell asleep the moment I had laid down on the metal.