A Priest's Deadly Obsession

Chapter 5 - Confessions

Juliet's heart was  racing, pulsing and causing her palms to sweat profusely, they shook  and quivered while gripping the steering wheel. From her car she had   called James and asked him to meet up at one of the local parks from  their last church picnic. Reluctantly he agreed and she raced there as  fast as she could.

Albert was right, it was  now or never. She could not live with never, but deep down she could  not live without James. He was her air; her reason for being. She had   saved herself for him and did not allow any man to touch her simply  because she loved him with everything she had.

She parked in the lot  and noticed James' car was already there. God, please give me the  strength, please let him understand my feelings...please...

Juliet prayed silently, running  her fingers through her hair in a last minute attempt to look  decent. Her eyes were slightly blood shot from lack of sleep and worry   over the confession, but now there was no turning back. She breathed in  deeply and climbed out of the car, fidgeting with her fingers as she  approached a tall figure amongst the trees.

"James...?" she called  out, he turned around and smiled at her. It was no longer that dead smile he would give at church. This smile was much more sincere, it   warmed her heart and she couldn't help but instinctively smile back at  him.

"Hey..how are you  Jules?" James spoke in a sweet calm voice as she stood in front of him.  He wore jeans and a thick black jacket. She admired him, her eyes  looked at all his angles from his feet to his hair, Dear God I love  him  so much why are you taking him from me? Her face involuntarily  twitched  into a sad and painful expression.

"Juliet?" James furrowed  his brows in concern, his hands which were tucked away into his pockets  now gripped onto Juliet's fragile shoulders as she attempted to hold  back her sobs. "What is it? What's wrong?" Her gaze fell to the ground  where red and orange leaves covered the dirt path. It is now fall and she  had procrastinated all this time to admit to him her intents and  feelings. She had waited years and simply admired, loved and thought  about him from afar. She scolded herself for letting this drag out until days  before his ordination. In the end it was all her fault.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled and wiped her tears with her grey sleeve before looking   back up at James. He released her shoulder, but she wished he hadn't stopping holding on.  Juliet forced herself to look into his eyes, he  still seemed concerned about her. Not once had he ever seen her so  upset and distressed.

"I wanted to talk to you  about something, before you go to the ordination ceremony..." her  lips  slightly trembled while she spoke with a broken voice.

"What about it?" he asked perplexed at her mentioning the ceremony.

"...there's something I been meaning to tell you and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you any sooner..."

There was not a sound  but the gentle rustle of the leaves and the pounding of her heart in her  ears. James slowly leaned in closer to Juliet as her voice grew even   more softer from her fears of confessing.

"I know this is awful  timing but...If I don't tell you now I'll regret it forever,-" The words   were at the tip of her tongue, she wanted to burst and spit it out but   something was holding her back. Something beyond her own selfish wants   and needs, and that was James' desires of the priesthood. She thought   for a moment, if she does tell him and he ends up feeling guilty about   it she would never want this to affect his career.

"It's ok just  tell me" his frown deepened, his gaze was serious but at the same time  kind enough for her to swallow back the itching anxiety and continue.