I am probably going to die alone. Ya see, I went to Target today and I recognized that some people are just honestly very attractive. And I realized that I am not equally or more attractive, and therefore am not desirable. And that sucks.
And now I'm sitting here, shirtless, noting just how many imperfections I have. And I'm very frustrated at how many I can point out.
On top of that, I just don't feel like I can love again. I loved someone once. Just once. And I put my entire life into that. Since then, I've dated, and I think I've loved those people..but not like before.
There was this one guy. His name was Ethan. He was probably one of the nicest guys I've dated. He treated me like royalty, but I threw it away to date someone else. (I literally did that with someone else too, goddammit)
Ya know..they say that for every decision that is made, there are infinite parallel universes for just that decision alone. Like..if I chose to keep dating Ethan instead of someone else. Maybe I wouldn't still be hurting. Maybe I'd still be dating Ethan. Maybe..maybe.
My point is, I was an idiot and threw away a few good relationships because I thought I should date other people, and look where I am now. Sad and lonely.
And in conclusion, this is why I'm going to die alone. :)
