It's rather conflicting when you finally become religious, and then the worst parts of your life happen.
What I want to do is get so high I forget what day it is.
What I want to do is drink the pain away.
I want to destroy every single thing I've worked so hard to build up in the past 6 months.
I want to not feel like everything is falling apart.
Everything in my life is being torn apart.
Finally, I thought I had beat the worst of my demons.
I learned how to control my thoughts.
I learned how to combat the waves of depression and paralyzing anxiety attacks.
But now, it's almost as if those things just took a human form, something stronger.
It's in the form of my mother telling me about divorce attorneys and joint custody, moving houses and a different life.
It's in the form of making jokes about my family issues, in order to hide the heartbreak inside.
I feel so alone.
