my brain craves constant stimulation.
like if im not occupied i will slip away from the earth's surface, falling away and fading into the hole of depression i have been tip-toeing on the edge off for months now.
i spend my days trying to distract myself, playing games on PBSkids for nostalgic purposes, taking me back to before i was robbed of happiness.
i am trying so hard not to fade away, i am trying so hard to get better. for a minute, i thought i really was.
so now i will go back to trying to find something else to focus on, checking my grades for the twentieth time today to ensure that one day i can leave this life and become something more.
i will watch as much netflix and youtube as i can, but in the back of my mind feel like im separating from my skin from anxiety of wasting the day away.
i feel trapped.
