an update on life i guess
in late july, i started going back to church. since then, i have been doing my best to improve myself, and it has changed my life. i finally feel like i have someone to guide me, to comfort me, to show me the right way.
before that, i had basically reached rock bottom. i had just broken up with a guy who is extremely abusive, but with a co-dependent personality, i thought my life was falling apart. i can safely say that while he has undoubtedly given me some form of trauma that im still dealing with, i have not made any attempt to contact him, and have completely removed him from my life.
my grades aren't great, and that's not great. school has always been hard, and with the workload only increasing and the effectiveness of my teachers decreasing, it's gotten worse. after the break though, i am going to do whatever i can to raise my grades so i can get into a good college out of this small town.
mentally, i've been a lot better. i know my limits for stress more, and even though i still tend to exceed them, i have learned positive coping mechanisms that i can use instead of destructive things.
i cut a person out of my life, and honestly im a lot happier. this person really betrayed me, and im trying to forgive them, but things will never be the same between us. and that's okay.
i miss this lil site. i read through my old entries and comment on how things really played out, and am sometimes impressed by good things i write. i've been on here for almost 4 years, which is simply wild. almost nobody reads anything i write anymore, which is fine with me. this is for me, my form of self expression, and honestly therapy.
anyways, it's now 3:12 AM, and I'm gonna watch YouTube until I fall asleep.
Life is good, y'all. I hope you're well.
