The Desolated Two

// sixty seven //

He left.

I pushed him away.

But, he's gone.

It took him a while to sink in the rejection that I had mercilessly offered him but he collected himself, not before breaking down in front of me entirely and filling my heart with immense guilt. I let him cry as he knelt in front of me, his head in my lap and my own tears ran down my cheeks as my fingers fumbled in his hair. He didn't look me in the eye until he was done crying and after what felt like an hour, he finally looked up. His eyes were bloodshot and I wrapped my arms around him, as he pulled me to himself.

We sat like that for a while before I wiped his tears from my thumb and he gave me a small smile. I could feel it, the tension between us thickening as the time grew by close for him to leave. We didn't utter a word. He just gave me a subtle nod before pressing a lingering kiss on my forehead and then, he left.

Why did I let him leave? I am in love with him.

I have been a mess ever since, but my tears for that were conflicted as soon as Connor and Ella showed up early. Emily was lightly whimpering in Ella's arms and both of them gave me a worried look. Connor is now pacing back and forth in front of my bed while Emily is clutching onto my clothes tightly.

"Did you give her ice cream or something? Winter is coming up, and if she has anything cold during this time of the year, she falls sick." I say, checking Emily's temperature with the thermometer and sure enough, she has fever.

"No. I promise we didn't." Ella assures me, looking serious and I nod, because I know she wouldn't lie to me right now.

"I think I'm going to take her to the hospital. It's not just mild fever." I tell them, my voice hoarse from all the crying.

"Yes, okay. Let's go." Connor nods frantically, pulling out his car keys from the pocket.

I sigh as I don't bother changing out of my clothes, no matter how bad my pajama shorts look, or the big t-shirt that's way too oversized for anyone's liking. Emily shivers in my arms and I rub my hand on her back.

"You cold, baby?" I ask and she nods, tears welling up in her eyes.

No kid does well with falling sick, that's all I have learned in the past three years. I have witnessed her turn into a turmoil of emotions when she falls sick, constantly crying and being attached to my hip. I don't blame her though, when I am sick, I would want the person I love to be there by my side as well. The worst part were the first six months, she was under constant observation of doctors due to the complications that had occurred during the pregnancy with her twin passing away. But, she despises hospitals. Who doesn't?

Ella pulls out a jacket and a warm blanket from the lower drawer of my cupboard and I pass her a thankful smile before I collect some money and my phone, passing them both to Connor to take care of. After locking the apartment behind myself, we make our way to the parking before heading straight to the hospital.

Connor tells us to wait as he does the paper work and as soon as he's done, we're lead to the doctor's office. She's a middle aged child specialist who gives a huge smile to Emily, trying to cheer her up and then looks behind me to Connor and Ella.

"I would request the two of you to please wait outside." She says and Connor arches an eyebrow at me, as if asking if I am going to be okay by myself and I nod.

As soon as they leave, she asks me to lay Emily down on the small check-up bed. She takes out her stethoscope and gives her a huge smile, "Hi Sweetie, what's your name?" She asks, trying to be a good doctor but Emily just cries out in return.