Parallel Universes • s.black

XXV

-Stella Hart-

So I went on a second date with Dean Carterson and, like the first date, it was unexpectedly nice.

And then, on our third date, at the bottom of the stairwell to the girl's dormitory, in the 10 o'clock halflight of the black lake shimmering down on us, I think he became my boyfriend.

He kissed me again, still as soft and gentle as the first time. He held me close and I had this strange feeling in my chest that I think was happiness but I can't be sure these days.

He pulled away and, still holding me, looked at me with these wide eyes that made me feel like something wild, a wild thing, unobtainable. Except I'm not, not anymore.

So instead of smiling and heading up to bed, like I usually do, I say,

"I think you're going to be very good for me."

I think he smiles or laughs or maybe both. Does he say something? I can't tell, I'm already slipping away. So that he doesn't notice I turn and go without so much as a goodnight, but I don't actually think I could form words if I tried. I can't explain it, the slipping away, it happens at night, most nights, and I never see it coming. But, when it does come it's like an instant. One minute, I'm kissing this sweet boy who really likes me, and the next I'm slipping.

Narcissa's not in the dorm, even though it's after curfew but she probably found a way to sneak into Lucius' room. Bellatrix is there though and she's still awake. Shit.

She says something to me, but I can't hear her. I can't hear anything expect the sound of my feverish heart beat, can she hear it too? Probably not but you never know. I stumble over to the high, arching window and press my cheek against it, hard. I allow the cold to seep into my hot skin and keep me rooted in reality.

"Estelle?"

I was aware of Bellatrix calling my name now which is a good sign, so I lean back, my hand still rested against the cold glass but before I turn to her, I catch a glimpse of myself reflected in the dark glass.

I almost don't recognize myself.

My hair is drawn back so sharply that it makes the edges of my face dark and harsh. My lips are swollen from kissing Dean but in this light it looks different, there's an undertone to it that feels almost breathless but not the good kind, the bad constricted, blue lips, running out of time kind. And my eyes are different too, their ocean colour blends into the ocean behind the glass, but there's something else behind them too, something wrong, something haunted.

"What's wrong with you?"

I turn sharply, my heart in my mouth. Had Bellatrix seen what I had seen? Did she see it now?

"Are you deaf?"

I breathed out a sigh of relief. She hadn't seen anything, she was giving me the same irritated look that she gives me everyday.