Parallel Universes • s.black

XXXI

-Stella Hart-

The burning has gotten worse.

It used to be intermittent, like I'd feel it when I was supposed to be feeling emotion. Now, it's constant. I am an open flame, so don't get too close.

But, with the fire comes the power. I can feel that too, just below the surface. And it, like the fire, is growing and spreading turning me into a ticking time bomb. Don't get too close. Or I might just go boom.

Although, that isn't really much of a problem these days as no one is getting close to me. I won't let them. I spose the only exception is Bellatrix but I wouldn't necessarily say that she's closer to me than anyone else, she's just close. She watches me, constantly, in a way she's as infatutated by my changing condition as I am. I think in some sick way she's staying close to me just in case Voldemort really does turn up.

But he can't get inside the forcefield. Not unless someone lets him.

Flashes of my dream invade my mind and I let out an involuntary shiver. Bellatrix notices.

"Where are we going, Estelle?" she asks, watching me carefully.

The late february sun is just begining to dip below the treeline as we move across the grounds towards the sparse woods on the edge of the black lake.

"I need to see," I began trying to pick the right words, "there's no hiding from this, whatever it is. I need to see what I can really do." I finished.

I cast a sideways glance at Bellatrix, to see her reaction. Instead of the blank disinterested expression she usually wore, her eyes were alight with a certain hunger that made my chest burn and my hands shake as I realised that the same hunger writhed inside of me too.

The hunger to see. To be more than I am.

But while Bellatrix showed no sign of regret or hesitancy, I felt that also, intermingled with the fire and hunger, which made my head spin. It's like my body's at war with itself, half of it burning, wanting, aching to be more, to be absolutely who I should be and the other half afraid, because with the burning comes the darkness and I'm not sure I'm ready for either.

But I know that I have to see. If I really am going dark, if I really am going to burn until the fire swallows me whole I need to see it coming. I need to see him coming. Because I can't pretened anymore that this isn't Voldemort.

I'm the weakest link. It's me. Peter Pettigrew eat your heart out.

"Here." I breathed, stopping in a clearing of trees just shy of the black lake. "This will do."

"Okay." Bellatrix nodded, truning to look at me expectantly, "now what?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Now, you shut up and I try to figure out how this works." I told her and she huffed.