The Lorèn Project [Discontinued]

Chapter 40

     What do you do when your physically trapped by the one person you hate most? What if that person you hate the most, just so happens to be the one person you can't seem to let go of?

Well, that's my situation right now. I hate the captain more than mere words can say but no matter what I do, I find myself wanting to know him more. I catch myself constantly thinking about what he'd do if I did something wrong. I find myself looking for him when I'm not busy, or when I see him talking with someone I can't help but stare. Is that weird? To be so attracted to someone that you forget everything around you? I'm so afraid that he'd catch on to my new found interest, and somehow torment me with it like it's major dirt on me or something.

After a while, I gave up on ever escaping from him on my own will. He always manages to find us. Well, I did hear from Evan and Levi that he's one of the best trackers they've ever met. He's skilled in a wide majority of things, so much so that it's believable now that he's so popular among his followers. He's smart, strong, kind to those he cherishes, and he never forgets his purpose. He knows what he's after and nothing stops him from acquiring it. To sum it up simply, he's extremely confident.

In his case, his overconfidence also leads to arrogance and he adds to that immensely. Especially with him already being super intimidating, people all shrink back in fear when he gets mad. I always tried to over look it but I've seen him kill many times since I've known him, every time because of something utterly stupid.

Is he really so stuck up that he would kill someone for something so petty? He killed the poor guy because he apparently overheard something he shouldn't have. The captain automatically assumed he was a spy and so, killed him. I knew the kid, he was only sixteen and he was on his way back to his room because we just got done eating. I may not know a lot about the real world, but I feel the captain could've given him a chance to explain himself. It's very sad, I'd mourned his loss for days before I'd finally managed to pull myself together. It's been a week since that day, and I'm finally readjusting but it's hard.

I wasn't that close with him but those who were, were so distraught they couldn't function properly on the ship which only added to the captain's rage. How could I be so interested in a man who is so bipolar, not to mention a murderer? I don't know myself, I wish I could understand why myself but I don't.

I'm still unaware of where we're headed but no one will tell me anything. It also seems that the captain has been avoiding me, I'm praying it's because he's busy but I'm not so sure anymore.

"Hey, I have a question—," He simply ignores me and walks away. "Wait! I need to talk to you—," Then he disappears into thin air, again. Why is he avoiding me?! I poured childishly as I pace back and forth in the dining hall of the ship.

Evan and Levi are sitting in a corner drinking something that looks like some sort of alcohol. I pay their stares no mind as I continue pacing. "Aya, What are doing?" I ignored the voice and continued stressfully avoiding any thoughts relating to the captain. "AYA!" A high pitched voice yelled and brought me back to earth. "Huh? What am I doing in the dining hall?" I say surprised as I locked eyes with Tessa. "Oh hey Tessa." I say nonchalantly as I try to walk away, coincidently heading towards my room.

"Aya you're acting strange are you okay?" Tessa says waving her hand back and forth in front of my face. Am I okay? Am I going insane or something? I can't stop thinking about pointless things! Now I'm completely rambling in my own head! "Aya! Stay with us!" She says as she shakes my shoulders. "What do you mean I'm fine." I lie blatantly as I again attempt another escape.

"Ohhh, she's trying to run away again!~" Levi yells across the dining hall, earning a harsh glare from me. "Shush it, you!" I yell back and he shrugs his shoulders before going back to his beloved drink. "Fucking drunkards." I mumbled out loud, loud enough everyone could hear but no one said anything back.

"Aya you've been acting weird ever since the captain found you. Are you sure you're okay? Because if not I can have him check to see if your sick—,"

"I'm one hundred percent fine!" I yell back hurriedly. I looked back and forth quickly as if her presence will bring him here. "I'm just tired okay? DON'T mention anything to him, okay?" I said with major emphasis on the don't part. She nodded quickly and removed herself from my embrace. Quickly, she darted over to Evan and whispered something in his ear causing him to raise his eyebrow slightly as if in interest.

Levi was still downing his drink but managed to catch it before spitting out his drink in someone's face. "Oh, sorry Jack!" He said with a smile guilty look. He quickly darted his eyes in my direction and nodded his head at Evan.

"What are they doing?" I thought to myself as I watched them hurry off into the deck of the ship. The doors slammed open in the dinning hall, the captain had entered. "Make me something good, would ya? Kinda stressed from work." The captain said matter of factly, as if he couldn't get anymore arrogant. He notices my stare and for some odd reason an uncontrollable knot formed in my stomach.

"Aya? Oh my god, you're blushing. . !" Tessa said in hushed surprise, I flinched at the word, 'blushing.'

What? When have I ever had the ability to do that? I can get embarrassed but blushing, that's something I've never done. Is that why I feel so hot all of a sudden?