❝In which a celebrity dials a random number in hope of finding one last thing to make him smile before he commits suicide at the end of the month.❞
"I'm going to commit suicide in one months time."
"I think you have the wrong number."
"It can't be t...
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"Oh my god. I am so sorry about that e-mail that Jaxon sent. It was completely out of line. I swear with all of my heart that I had nothing to do with it. If I had known I would have attacked him and made sure to unplug every source of WiFi, service or network. Hell, I would keep all the pens and paper away from him as well. Actually, come to think of it I may as well just send him up into space. That's probably the safest way to ensure tha-"
"It's fine. It doesn't bother me, at all. I've had a whole lot worse."
"Worse than someone practically degrading your self-worth to an object of absolute insignificance in the space of four long paragraphs?"
"Compared to the other stuff I've received over the years it was almost a blessing."
"What other stuff could you possibly have received that makes that abomination of an e-mail seem like a blessing?"
"I prefer not use the term hate mail because that would be wrong...I think. I believe that the term 'hate mail' refers to a large amount of hate directed in one e-mail, tweet, text message or through any form of communication, even face to face. I would describe your boss's very elegantly written letter as hate mail. I don't need his words to know that he already despises my very existence."
"I'm going to ignore the fact that you didn't actually answer the question and instead question why the hell you would class something that insulted you as 'elegantly written'."
"His grammar was good. I mean, it's good to know that if someone is hating on me they actually took the time to express their hating in an elegant way."
"..."
"As for the 'had worse' thing I've received a whole lot worse than hate mail."
