Suicide Helpline

1 0 | d a y s | l e f t - v o i c e m a i l

"I am officially resorting to the only option I have left. The classic sentimental voicemail. All other means of communication with you have failed so you're not exactly leaving me with much choice now, are you?

I'm pretty sure you can tell from my voice that this is Jaxon leaving you this truly heartfelt message. I speak to you not only as your manager, but also as your friend. Who was once your best friend. So yeah, this is Jaxon. A very pissed off Jaxon who is desperately trying to beat some sense into his idiot of an ex-best-friend.

First off:

What the in the hell do you think that you are doing Caliente?

This is so unprofessional it's unbelievable. You can't just waltz away from everything that you've worked so hard for. That we've worked so hard for. I honestly hate to get nostalgic, bringing emotions into things makes things so much harder but I just can't think of any other way to get through to you.

So, I'm bringing in the nostalgia.

Picture this: Two boys in a back garden. One with dark hair, one with light. They are laughing despite recently being scolded by their mothers for pulling yet another prank on their younger siblings. They're laughing at how truly hilarious it would be if one day they were to suddenly grow up and be filthy rich. The two boys laughing at how they would make their younger siblings work for them because they are just that rich. The two boys didn't mean it, of course they didn't. It was a joke. All a joke. 

It's the kind of dream that everyone has as a kid. To grow up. To actually be somebody in a world of faceless nobodies. Don't you see what a miracle it is that we actually achieved that?

Don't you see? 

All those stupid jokes and jibes that we made sitting in your back garden. Or, when we grew out of that phase, by the school lockers as we vowed to ban homework when we were rulers of the world. Or at the lunch table, eating the Nutella sandwiches that our mothers had made us because we were too lazy to make our own and they loved us too much to let us starve.

Do you even remember our dream?

Our fantasy of lavish mansions and bank accounts so large we could fill our swimming pools with money. Of course, it was all a joke. A distraction to divert our attention from the actual problems. The actual problems that we were growing up. Going nowhere in life. No real goal. Just a dream that we could never achieve. I guess that's what made it better, that we could never achieve it. Just something to make us feel better. Just something to have a chuckle about at the back of the class when we got bored of paying attention.

Just a distraction.

Just a joke.

Well, guess what? It's not a joke anymore.

We actually did it. We actually achieved our dream. Not many people can say that. In fact, hardly any. Do you not realise how lucky we got? To achieve our dream and still stay together? 

We could have lived normal lives. We could have been nobodies. We didn't have to stick together. We could have split off in different directions. We could have gone our separate ways after college. But we didn't. We stuck together. What are the odds of that? Not many people stay with their childhood friends. 

We became more than the burning balls of waste gas that everyone is born to be. We became one of the few shining stars. Or at least, you did. You're the shining star. I'm just the guy assisting from the sidelines. Not that I care. I'm not about to play the best friend in the shadows card.

 That wouldn't be fair. 

If I wanted to join you in the sky of stars I could have done. I could have done. Anyone could have done. In this industry, in this day and age, there isn't much need for talent. Ambition is enough. With enough ambition, a blind man could convince a person that he could see. With enough ambition, a deaf man could convince a person that he could hear. 

I could have done that. I could have been you. But I'm not. And I didn't. You wanna know why? Because I chose not to. I chose to help you achieve our dream instead. I chose to support you and that dream we had as kids.

Where the hell are you now?

The headlines are blowing up. You've been off the grid for a day, missing two concerts in the process. You've gone completely awol and I have no idea why.

I could have done anything with my life. Anything. But I chose to support you. I chose to support my best friend.

I understand that we may not be as close as we used to be and that's a real shame but...life does that. We were both busy. You got used to being the star and I got used to being the fuel that kept that star burning. I don't mind. I don't mind that at all. I get it, really I do. Life kept us both occupied. But...didn't those years of friendship mean anything to you?

Anything at all?

I look like an idiot. I'm humiliated actually. I have no idea where the hell the person I'm supposed to manage actually is.

Wherever you are, just know that your former best friend is having a real tough time in the dust where you left him. I'm supposed to be responsible for you and, unlike a mother, I'm not going to make you a Nutella sandwich. We're not kids anymore Shane. You made a commitment to this job when you signed up for it. A commitment to me. You can't just give up like this.

Just...come back. We need you here. You can't just get up and leave. If you don't do it for me do it for the friendship we once shared. For the dream we once had but has long since burnt out. So, yeah, the dream wasn't quite as glamorous as we thought but it's what we worked hard for. It's all we have now.

So think of that childhood ambition. Think of me. Think of our friendship. Whatever the hell you're doing now can't possibly be more important than everything you've ever worked for. I'm not being selfish, I swear. I just know how painful it can be when a star falls from the sky. Don't give up just yet. Hang in there buddy. We'll keep you shining brightly. I'll be damned if I spent so long putting you in the sky just for you to fall.

I know it can be a lot of pressure at times and I now...now I realise what kind of a toll it's taking on you. This is going to sound wierd but don't...don't change. We need the Shane Caliente that our childhood dream created. We need him because...without him you will fall out of the sky. As will the rest of us.

So just...consider it.

Actually, don't bother. I'm coming to find you whether you like it or not."