❝In which a celebrity dials a random number in hope of finding one last thing to make him smile before he commits suicide at the end of the month.❞
"I'm going to commit suicide in one months time."
"I think you have the wrong number."
"It can't be t...
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"Are you aware of how irritating your voice-mail is Super-girl?
I've heard it fifty-six times in the past hour and it's seriously beginning to piss me off. I mean seriously, how dumb does it think I am? OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT TO BLOODY DO AFTER THE BLOODY BEEP!
The first fifty-five times I didn't leave a voice-mail out of spite.
Yes, I have been counting.
Also, is your phone on silent or something? It's kind of rude to not respond to a phone call. That is, unless, you're getting back at me for not replying to you earlier. I really am sorry about that, by the way. It's just... I was about to go on stage and I couldn't afford any distractions.
So, I'm sorry about that...but at least I'm replying now, right? That counts. I didn't picture you as the sort of person to hold a grudge. Well, look on the bright side: you didn't have to listen to your voice-mail that made me want to stab myself with a dull knife fifty-six times now, did you?
Wait.
Hang on.
That was insensitive.
I really need to stop it with those death puns.
That automated voice lady probably worked incredibly hard to perfect her dull, boring voice.
So yeah, it would be nice if you replied, but you know, feel free to ignore me. It's not like I'll cry myself to sleep at night or anything... Yes, that was my attempt at earning your sympathy. I didn't do very well, did I?
Didn't think so.
So, yeah, please reply. Otherwise, I'm gonna think that you've been murdered or something drastic like that...but I guess I'll let it pass for now. For now, don't think that I won't go all inspector gadget on your ass if you continue to ignore my graciousness.
You're probably just busy.
But...if this is just you refusing to speak to me anymore because you've finally had enough then...don't.
