Saviors (Completed)

57. Life Or Death

WARNING! 
Mature scenes and content will occur within this chapter.
This is also a trigger warning and I would strongly advise younger persons to think before reading.
You can skip this chapter and still know what will happen in this chapter just miss out of a lot of details there will be within this chapter. 
I'll not be able to give a better description of the precise event of this chapter since it would be a major spoiler, but you're now warned.
(Good song for this chapter above)

...

"What are you doing here, mom?" I asked her and strode nearer, seeing her hand rocking while containing a package. 

"I... I was planning on sending it to you, however, I wanted to see you on your birthday and give it to you myself. I owe you that." Her voice was trembling, while a single drop left her right eye. I stepped towards her, but she carried her shaking hand out. "Please just stand there, will you?" 

"Um... Of course," I told her and took a small step back again, granting her wishes. I only found her eyes in a fraction of a second, however, I witnessed it. The glow there kept the light behind her eyes flashing was gone. Vanished into thin air and had left something as inanimate as a dead cadaver. 

"You know... I never forgot your birthday. I know I never congratulated you or bought you anything, but I never forgot it. Your father did though, he forgot all our birthdays. That should have been a sign, right? A sign that he didn't love me... or any of us for that matter." She played with the small package in her hands, her eyes directing on nothing else. 

My pulse was increasing and even though nothing physical seemed different, there was something wrong. "I don't know what to say." I was self-conscious of my answer, but I wasn't able to lie to her. She was my mother after all. My own flesh and blood. The one who had gone through pain to bring me into this world, even though I would have fancied she hadn't. 

"I know you may not be able to forgive me and definitely not forget what I've done to you or rather, ignored what has been done to you." She started off with her voice flat, but as she gained confidence in what she wanted to say, it grew harsher and with less shaking. 

"I don't think I can... not right now, but we can work on it. Together." I poured, holding myself tight. I knew that it wasn't my own arms I lacked, however, I had to operate with what I had. 

She smiled, but it wasn't out of delight, which made my heart sink to the floor. Didn't she want to have a relationship with me? To start over. 

"I don't think that will be possible... at least not after this." She muttered the last part, however, my ears didn't miss it. 

"What do you mean by that?" I asked her, attempting to step closer, but she just lifted her hand. She really didn't want me. Didn't she love me?

"Nothing." She took a deep breath, only making my anxieties grow wider. Something was objectionably wrong. I watched as my mother's eyes became overlaid with tears and her hand with the package rocked. "Here!" She launched it over to me and I only just managed to catch it without allowing it or me fall into the dirt. 

"What is it?" 

Dumb question.

"You...you'll see soon enough." She breathed in and out heavily, her chest continuously jumping up and down as if air was sipping out of her lungs without end. I nibbled my lip, begging I could do something about her nerves or whatever was upsetting her. I ached to support her with her demons because I knew how it was like to battle them on your own. It was a game you could only fail.