Bittercoated

Finally Fallen For the Beast

Quesoftheday: Do you have any weird habitual thing to do before going to bed or after waking up in the morning? Feel free to share/not share.

Happiness, they say that start finding happiness in little things and that’s how your life becomes beautiful. But they never say that they have started finding happiness in little things once they gave up dreaming about happiness achieving big things.

I dreamt bigger, that’s how I got here. Working in one of the biggest selling magazine worldwide, it was a dream. But seeing my name printed at the edge of the cover page, I didn’t dream about that.

“Still worried about Louis huh?” Bebe asks tossing a popcorn inside her mouth as she wiggles her toes in the air laying down on my bed beside me.

It’s been more than a day I haven’t seen Louis and honestly, it feels like I have never felt this anxious, not even on the day my 8th grade chemistry results came out. I hate this subject more than the whole world hates Donald Trump! It’s an inestimable hate, it’s unexplainable.

“Of course I’m. After all, I was the one who made him angry.” I sigh tossing my head back, leaning against the headboard as Bebe rests her lazy Sunday head on my thighs.

At least I was relieved when Shawn texted me that Zayn was talking to Louis over phone yesterday night and he was laughing. Of course Zayn would not laugh by his own if Louis was in an unfitting situation. I’ve texted Louis a sorry text, expecting no replies from him and he hasn’t let my expectation drown in misery.

“You've finally fallen for the beast, beauty.” Bebe chuckles throwing a popcorn to me and my skillful moves don’t fail to take it inside my mouth.

“Nothing like that. Falling for him would be so foolish. Do you think he’s that type after I told you what he did to say simply sorry to me? And he was with Oren to………………………”

“That’s because he loves you, you tiny shoe lace! I can see it crystal clearer than the white logo on your expensive adidas sneakers! Why won’t you see even with your big big glasses! Go to an optimist you gourd head!” She sits up on the bed in front of me crossing her legs and then crosses her hands over her chest.

“Bebe………….” I sigh after closing my eyes and opening it again. “If I take chance, it’s not only me who is taking a chance when Fiona’s life is fully dependent on me. It’s not about only the past I can tell him, it’s about the people from the past who has tried to ruin my present only a few days ago.”

I stop as my voice starts to crack. Bebe takes my hands in her and caresses her thumbs over them gently.

I know I have some feelings for Louis but I’m afraid he’s not stable enough to accept my past. What if he hates me after knowing about my past? What if he ditches me just like he did to my sister? I know he’s dangerous but that’s the attractive thing about him. Because I like the dominancy when I surpass his danger zones.

“I’m not inspiring you to hook up with him or something, I’m just unfolding the things which are blindfolding you. You know I can always turn into a lesbian if you don’t get anyone straight to marry before you turn into eighty four years old right?” Bebe smiles widely cupping my cheeks and starts singing thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran.

“You Bald head of Voldemort!” We both burst into laughter as I hit her on the head with a pillow. “I’d rather marry a skeleton rather than losing a best friend like you!”

My phone vibrating beside the pillow makes both of us alert as we tilt our heads towards it expecting the same thing.

“It’s not him. It’s an unknown number.” I roll my eyes before picking up the call.