Bittercoated

I Love You Unconditionally

A/N: No questions today! I just wanna wish all of you a merry Christmas, happy holidays and prosperous new year ahead! Stay safe, healthy and happy, spread love and donate smile as much as you can! All the purest love and warmest hugs.

AIMH
Z.

“I molested a girl.”

My eyes flutter open and a frenzy passes through my whole body as his words reaches my ears through the thick cold air around me. My breathe heaves as my whole body fills with goosebumps under Louis’ touch. I keep my eyes on his which is now inches apart from me, his face not leaned on mine as it was a while ago when he kissed my forehead gently. An uneasy dryness inside my mouth interrupts my gaze as I look down and swallow the lump down my throat.

“Y….you mean ra…………”

“Yes you heard the exact thing what I’ve said Reen. I raped a girl and I’m afraid no stories behind this incident will entertain you.” Louis steps back as he keeps his head shaking left to right continuously, his words getting loud and trembly. “These four words are enough to cover a whole story and I’d not blame you for the fear evident on your face right now.”

I look down and wrap myself with my arms before my palms reaches my cold face, rubbing my palms against my cheeks slowly as I look around me helplessly, not knowing what to do. The haunting memories from my past don’t fail to make its way to my mind, reviving the polaroids I fought to burn through countless sleepless nights. Somehow, these four words are deeply related to those burnt memories.

“L……………..Louis I can't……………….”

“Reen,” he cuts me off as he steps closer shoving his hands inside his jenas shorts pockets, “Reen I love you and I know I should’ve told you before. But I didn’t even realise that I was falling in love with you, my love for you happened before I could remind myself that I need to tell you about it.”

“No Louis I've been into a lot of bad situation but I'm feeling so helpless right now trust me!” I whimper with each words as the tears don’t stop brimming down my cheeks. “You need to know that.” I look above the night sky before hiding my face behind my palms before splitting out the words begging to come out across my twisted tongue, “I should tell me secret too, before it's too late.”

A female voice screaming my name makes both Louis and I look at the direction and my eyes widen as I see Ellie mostly running towards us, keeping one of her hands on her oversized stomachs as she breathes heavily finally stopping in front of us.

“Ellie,” I walk past Louis to reach a panting Ellie, tilting my head down with a questioning look as she looks at me nervously. “Ellie what’s it? Are you OK?”

“Ellie Fiona……………..”Ellie bites her lip as she takes a moment to judge my sudden expression change.

“Ellie Fiona what?” I mostly whisper as everything starts to blank out around me hearing that particular name from Ellie with some indication of something bad has happened. “Ellie Fiona what spill it out for God’s sake!”

“Fiona is missing Reen!” Ellie breaks down in tears as she yells closing her eyes. “Zayn left her by the swimming pool only for a few minutes to get a coffee and………………”

My breathe hitches as I step behind, trying to comprehend the words. I understand that I’m not standing anymore as my trembling thighs' back hit the cold sand underneath. A conversation between Louis and Ellie reaches my ears like I’m paralysed in my sleep. I can hear them but my limbs has gotten numb.

Ellie describes Louis how they have looked for Fiona everywhere but she’s nowhere and they tried to call Louis and me several time but later our phone was found inside our hotel room. A shiver passes through my whole body as I sense Louis sitting on his knees beside me, trying to pull me back to my conscious state. What is even this state, am I alive?

I slowly make myself stand up, barely feeling any weight in my body, the sand down my toe feeling colder than anything against my skin as I start walking wrapping my arms around myself.

Fiona is missing.

My whole world is missing.

Avoiding everything around me, I find myself walking until the lively light of our extortionate resort reaches my eyes. My steps becomes steady as I step closer to the entrance of the resort. I feel coming back to the world everyone is in as I enter inside passing a I’ll see you later death glare to the guards outside.

Entering inside the hall, I walk fast to the reception as the manager’s eyes fall on me.

“My child is missing.” I whisper through my gritting teeth as I stand only an inch away from him. “And the resort is only occupied with the people I know.” I stop for a moment to swallow down the tears inside my throat.” If anything bad happens to her and I get any clue of any of your employee involved in this……………..” I stop and step behind, pointing my finger to everyone around me, “better say your last prayers. I’d not care who the person is.”

“Reen stop!” I step on someone’s feet as I turn around.

I break down in tears and finally feel the human warmth on my cheeks as Harry embraces me tightly. My sobs become louder as I’ve held them back for a quite long time. I feel his hands caressing my back lightly as he whispers me to calm down, his other hand behind my head, gently caressing my hair. He pulls me away gently as he puts the button up shirt he was wearing over his t-shirt on my shivering body. I look at his eyes when he tilts my face up putting his palms on my cheeks.

“Harry Fiona is………….”

“She’d be fine trust me. I’ve requested for CCTV footage, Louis and Zayn is already on their way to report her name in every transference area so that she cannot pass Tasmania at least. Fiona is a smart girl like you Reen, no harm would be able to reach her.” Harry shrugs my shoulders as I weep and nod at the same time looking at him.

“Let’s go to your room, you need to put on something warm.”

Harry whispers as I realize I’m in my bikini only with Harry’s white see-through shirt barely helping me not to be looked at by the people around me. Avoiding all the whispering mouths and pitiful looks around me, I start walking beside Harry who leads me to the room I’m staying with Bebe.

“I don’t want to know about the cancellation fee, just cancel it! My life has been a show here so I don’t want to attend that fashion show!”

I heard Bebe yelling just before Harry’s knuckles reach the door to knock. We look at each other before Harry knocks the door once Bebe has stopped yelling. Her annoyed voice reaches us behind the door as she yells come in.

“Oh it’s you Reen and Harry.” She rolls her eyes before looking at me sensitively, stepping fast towards me. “Reen I’m sorry about Fiona but believe me she’d be fine. Maybe she is just somewhere around, maybe she has fallen asleep behind a big bush or a under a couch or behind something big and we just can’t find her because she’s so small!” She shrugs me by my shoulders excitedly as her shining eyes meet mine. “I’m telling you that’s what happened and she’d run back to you with Bubbah in one of her hands and caressing her sleepy eyes with the other.”

I take my lips between my teeth as Bebe curse under her breathe and finally starts crying looking down. I simply hug her as she hugs me back and we stay like this for a few seconds.

Once we pull away from each other, I nod looking at her and walk towards the bathroom. I need some warm water to bring me back to my conscious state, to bring my strong in any circumstances state, to fight with my emotions.

As the warm water from the shower above me hits me harshly, I whimper a bit and let my tears slip down my body with the water as memories with Fiona starts to hit me.

I molested a girl.

Suddenly I’m reminded of the words Louis revealed about himself a while ago but my brain is almost clogged and tired by all the things happening at a time.

"God, I love you unconditionally, please love me back now, please God." I let myself slowly fall down on the floor as the cold water keeps hitting my closed eyelids.