32. Nathan

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Nathan

I was thinking a lot lately, about everything happening; About Jessie being Harry's target, Jessie blushing at every guy who walked by her, about her pains, and what Rachel had said. But most of all I was thinking about Harry. And I thought about the solution. The perfect solution for each of them. And I came to one conclusion; asking out Jessie. I knew it was a horrible mistake, but it was also a temporary solution to a) prevent Harry from doing whatever he was planning to do. And b) make Jessie happier, even if it was just for a while. So here I was. Standing in front of Jessie and uttering the stupidest three words I've ever said to anyone.

"Be my girlfriend."

That was the second time I have ever asked a girl out, the first time was- well I don't really like to talk about the first time since it wasn't that happy of a memory. But Jessie is the second girl I have ever asked out, her case was entirely different though. I didn't feel nervous, or excited or anything as I used to feel when I asked out Ho- no Nathan, don't go there. I'm not a playboy, I have never played with any girl's heart. I don't like to use girls for sex either, or have one night stands with them, even if it be their own choice. That's not the right way to treat any girl.

If I do that, then I won't be able to stare my sister from shame. Who will be harassed and asked out by guys like me. And I wouldn't dare stop her from doing what she wants. So I can't do that to Rachel. But at that moment...I felt like I was a playboy. I was doing the exact thing which any play boy would do, lie to a girl, gain her heart, and throw her away after two months. I immediately shook off the feeling of guilt, and told myself this was for the better. This was the best solution and decision, this is to protect Jessie, and not let her become like Rachel. Jessie's eyes widened, she was staring at my eyes, then she frowned and looked away. I couldn't read her expression, and I licked my dry lips as I stared at her, waiting for any reaction. But she just frowned and seemed to be in deep thought. I waited patiently for her, this might have been a big surprise for her, hell it was even a bigger surprise for myself. I never thought I would lie to a girl about my feelings. But here I was; lying.

"W-what do you mean?" Jessie asked. Making me release the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Be my girlfriend," I repeat, "let's go on dates, be romantically involved with each other. Have nice memories together." Some words that I uttered were not exactly lies. I'd just pretend we're friends, it wouldn't remind me of lying to her. At least I hoped so.

"Umm... it's not April's fool day, is it?" Jessie asked, seeming unsure as she stared at the wall behind me, where I guess a huge calendar was hanging on the wall. I can't help but smile, it's so like Jessie to think I was pulling a prank on her. I immediately remembered it's because she has never been asked out and she felt insecure. So my smile dropped.

"It's not, Jessie." I mumbled and cleared my throat "I mean it. Let's date."

Jessie sighed, her frown still present on her forehead. Her arms crossed over her chest, she's biting her lower lip from nervousness "It's... very sudden."

"I know Jessie." I said calmly, as I tried to smile at her which didn't reach my eyes.

"You're not, perhaps, pitying me, are you?" Jessie asks, her eyes studying every move I made. As she was trying hard to see through me.

"Of course not!" I lied. Because first; I was. Second; Rachel did tell me Jessie didn't like being pitied.

"Th-then why?" Jessie stuttered. She wasn't frowning anymore, however she looked surprised and a little shocked.

"Why what?" I frowned as I tried to figure out what she meant.

"Why are you telling me this now?" She asked, "Why are you even asking me to be your girlfriend, and not just date you?" I swallowed hard. I was trying my best to avoid the real lie. But then I had no choice. I had to lie otherwise she wouldn't have believe me.

"Because I love you." I said, without stuttering, or hesitating, and with a strong confident voice.

"S-since when?" She asked. I knew this would happen. I knew Jessie is not someone who immediately agrees, she had many questions. And I was ready for all of them.

"It doesn't matter." I said, "What matters is I love you, and I want you to be my girlfriend."

"But...what about Rachel?"

"What about her?"

"Won't she be against it?"

"No she won't," I answered, she had planned all of it herself. I added mentally to myself "and it's not her business, although I'm pretty sure she'll agree, since she will want happiness for both of us."

"Are you saying you'll be happy with me?" Jessie asked, her cheeks having a shade of pink on them.

"Yeah, I will." I said, which was not a lie. Jessie can be very fun to hang out with.

"Umm... Nathan. I appreciate what you say and all that," Jessie started "but I seriously need to think about it."

"Sure!" I replied as I smiled at her "let me know your answer later?"

"Yeah," Jessie said, as I walked away smiling to myself, forgetting about the feeling of guilt, because I knew Jessie had already agreed by giving herself time to think of it. 

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