Two days. Two days since she talked to me. I said I was sorry multiple times, but she never answered my phone calls or anything.
It's lunch time at school, and I am bored out of my mind. Luckily, my friend Jake came up to me. "How are you and Sabrina?"
I sighed. "She's mad at me."
He furrowed his eyebrows. "What'd you do?"
"I don't even know. I guess she's mad at me for hanging out with you at the mall, since I didn't tell her. Even though, she has a male friend that she hangs out with without telling me all the time."
"Oh. I'm sorry about that."
"Don't be. It's fine." Because everything is totally okay when she's mad at me. Wow, can you hear the sarcasm in my thoughts?
"You guys need to talk to each other." Becca said, sitting next to me. I shook my head still picking at my lunch. "I tried, but she won't talk to me. You're talking to the wrong person about this."
"Y/N." The bell rang for next period.
I got up and threw my lunch away.
"I need to go to class. Bye." I gave a small wave and walked to gym class.
...
"Really Y/N?" I heard Jake say, and I jumped. School was out and I was at the back of the school, smoking yet again.
"Don't do that. You scared the crap out of me." I said, and I was about to put the cigarette back between my lips, when he snatched it from me. "What are you doing with this?"
"I needed to relax and this is the only way I know how to. It's not like I'm doing drugs or weed." I tried to reach for it, but he moved it out of my reach.
"You're hurting yourself?" It was more like a statement than a question.
"No, I'm not." I argued.
"By smoking you are." He crushed it under his foot, and I rolled my eyes.
"I really don't need someone else scolding me like I did something else wrong, so could you please stop?" I asked, feeling a bit depressed but more angry.
"What is going on with you?"
"I don't know, okay?! I don't know why I'm doing this! I don't know anything right now, and I wish I did!" I yelled, and he pulled me into a hug. I don't know why, but I instantly started crying.
I eventually calmed down enough and stopped. "Thanks. I needed that." I said, pulling away.
"Go home, okay. Talk to Sabrina. You need her and she needs you, so go." I nodded and started walking away.
"Take care of yourself and remember that I'm here for you."
I stopped and turned around. "Jake? Thank you. For everything."
He smiled. "No problem. See you at school tomorrow."
A couple minutes after I got home, I heard someone knocking on the front door. I walked downstairs and looked through the peephole. I saw the blonde beauty so I opened the door and let her in.
"Hi." I said, closing the door.
Sabrina wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry."
"You're okay Brina. It's fine." I said calmly, rubbing her back.
She hiccuped. "No it's not. I don't like it when you're mad at me and you're right. It's basically the same as Corey and I's relationship. I'm sorry for getting jealous and mad at you." She said.
"Oh honey. I'm not mad at you or anything. It's my fault too. I should have told you where I was and that I was hanging out with him."
She pulled away. "You're not mad at me?"
I wiped the tears off her face and smiled. "Not at all."
She got a bit closer to me. "Why do you smell like smoke?"
I stepped back from her. "Um, well you see what had happened was..." I trailed off.
"You were smoking?" She raised an eyebrow. I nodded slowly.
"Really? Why would you be smoking in the first place?"
"I-i didn't know what else to do. Everything is just stressing me out too much and I just can't handle it that well by myself."
"What's stressing you out so much? Talk to me." She said, holding onto my hand.
"Almost everything. We have finals coming up and I'm worried that I'm going to fail. Plus, I just can't get certain thoughts out of my head." I sat down on my couch, her sitting next to me.
"What thoughts?" She asked.
"I can't tell you." I mumbled.
"Why not?"
"Because you'll get upset."
"No I won't. Please just tell me, Y/N." I took a deep breath.
"I still have these bad thoughts that run through my head, that I can't seem to ignore. They're all depressing ones, repeating everything that everyone's said to me, and it's gotten to the point where I'm starting to believe them again. I just want it to stop already." I said, laying my head on her shoulder.
"Oh honey..." She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me on to her lap.
"I'm trying not to go back to my old self. I really am, but it's just getting so hard to do." I whispered, not really having the energy to talk.
"What thoughts go through your head?"
"Depressing ones." She shook her head at me. "No. I meant, tell me what exactly goes through your head."
I took a deep breath. "I'm ugly and fat."
"You're absolutely gorgeous and your body is perfect." She said, kissing my cheek.
"I shouldn't be here. I have no reason to be in this world."
"You have a reason to be here. It would literally kill me if you weren't here with me."
"Nobody loves and cares about me."
"My family loves and cares about you. Your family loves and cares about you. Rowan loves and cares about you. I love and care about you."
I sighed. "That's the thing. I don't know why, but it feels like you're lying to me."
"I'm not lying to you. I would never lie to you."
"I know, but at the same time I don't know." I said, tears slipping out of my eyes.
"The promise ring that I gave you. That's proof that I'm not lying. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't say it. I always say I love you and I mean it. Listen, I'm saying it right now. I love you Y/F/N Y/L/N." She said, looking me straight in the eyes when she spoke.
"I love you too, Sabrina AnnLynn Carpenter."
