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E·MO·TION·AL
1. (of a person) having feelings that are easily excited and openly displayed
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I picked up my books from my locker as I heard the bell ring, the quiet halls fading to loud voices and a kids flowing out of classrooms.
I took a deep breath as I looked into the crowd bouncing down the stairs to make it to their locker. The bus lines were thickly moving into the foyer outside of the school.
I narrowed my eyes in hopes of seeing Nick, but nothing. I had only seen him in Algebra II, which he didn't come to Chemistry. I guess that was him being sick.
I felt a warm presence on my back and turned my head to Nick.
"Hey." He croaked, his throat sounding like it was closing up. Poor thing.
"Hey, you look terrible." My hands laced up his side and he smiled and nodded.
"I feel it." His large hand took out mine and placed it by my hip.
I chewed my inner cheek. He really didn't like human interaction.
"I need a ride to the doctor, but my brother is busy." He said after watching me collect more of my books.
"Dang dude, that sounds rough." I said with a salty stare and he groaned.
"C'mon, please? Mali, I am really sick." He chimed softly and I grinned.
"Only if you call me Mali more, that's cute." I shrugged and zipped up my small bookbag.
"Sure." He coughed and I grasped his arm.
"Come on." I led him and his hand slipped into mine.
"Very smooth." I whispered with a sarcastic smirk as we walked to my car. He opened his side door and got in while I carefully pulled out.
"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong message." Nick started out and I shrugged.
"What do you mean?" I asked while trying to find the right lane to stay put in. I hated tailgaters, there was no getting away from them.
"I mean, we kissed, and we had something, but I didn't want to lead you on." He said quietly and I looked at him while trying to keep the car controlled to a red light.
"So you're saying that what we had was nothing?" I said with a reasonable frown. He nodded slowly.
"That's chill, at least you're honest." I tried to keep myself calm. Was I doing it wrong? Should I be sobbing while overeating and watching TV?
I mean, he was telling me what he felt, that's a step up.
Shouldn't I make him feel jealous? Isn't that how it was played? Yeah, do something.
"Good think you told me that, I have a date this weekend. That would've been awkward." I snickered as I placed my foot on the gas and pressed down softly as my car slowly pulled forward towards the turn.
The town in LA we were at was pretty big, but everyone business was in one place. Town center.
Pulling into the doctors office, Nick scratched his head. "With who?" He asked, eyeing my hand as it pulled the wand into park.
"Nunya business, mister." I giggled and he scoffed.
"So what, now you're 10?" He smacked my arm and I nodded.
"10 and a half!" I corrected, and got out of the car.
"You can leave me here." Nick assured, and I shook my head.
"I'm your mom now, it's already happened. I'm staying with ya." I goofed as I stayed by his side, the small chirp of my prius echoing across the parking lot.
I still felt that deep hurt inside of me from what Nick told me in the car. Why did it have to be this way? You wanted to be with them and make them happy and be that person that they called at 2am and told everything to, but then they reject you and make you feel like the small window you had beforehand was now gone.
I felt so emotional about it, and I couldn't go and cry. I had to be strong.
That's who I was right? That awkward sarcastic mess that everyone sought out to be strong and full of herself.
That was the wall I had put up.
I was tired of it. It was time to be me, not this Malibu with an exotic name that was used to making people feel uncomfortable for her own grunge trend.
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BE YOU.
Guess what? Being you is the best you can be, and if people don't like the real you then that's the sign that they're toxic.
