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PAN·IC
sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinkable behavior.
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My eyes peeled back to Lukas, a small drip of sweat gliding down his shiny forehead, his hair pulled back in an attempt to keep his eyeline free of problems. his hand was shaking, so was the firearm.
"Lu-Lukas?" I trembled, my tongue gripping the top of my mouth and my brain screaming for help. What do I even do in this situation?
My hands were holding my phone, my fingers draping over the power button. I wanted to click it as many times as I could and signal police, but what good would that do to Lukas?
He'd be arrested and charged and I would be left here, knowing I single handedly put a boy in jail, probably to a psych ward.
"Lukas, you're not thinking straight. Listen, we can talk, just put the gun down." My words came out smoothly, almost as if they were rolling off of my tongue. "No, you're lying." He murmured, the gun pressing into my skin more.
I'd assume there was a skin indentation by now, the small prick of pain from the tip of the pistol lingering on my forehead. There was a chance I could whip the gun from him but there was a bigger chance that if he shot out of fear, he would still hit me or him, or at least scare himself into doing so.
"Why would I lie to you? I have always been honest of what I wanted." I asked with a furrowed brow. No, Mali, stop making it about you.
He wants you to see it from his perspective. With no reply, I could tell that's what he was thinking. "I am sorry." I whimpered.
"Wh-why are you sorry?" He looked almost dazed. I had to present my case like it was my fault, that's what it always was. You know those crazy shows where they have to convince the mentally ill kid that he was right?
I had watched enough to be commonly knowledgeable on what to do and what not do to.
"Because I didn't listen to you, you told me something from your heart and I threw it in the trash like I didn't care." That was obviously a lie, I told Lukas I didn't want to be with him.
If Nick wasn't in the picture, I am sure I still wouldn't want to be with Lukas. He was just too different, and he assumed that he could force my hand into something I didn't want to be in.
"Yes, finally, you see." He waved the gun up above his head and rubbed my shoulder. My skin felt like it was frozen, the quick touch sending a wave of discomfort and fear throughout my body.
"So, what do ya say, a date?" He whispered, his body gritting the seat to get next to mine. My eyes closed and my throat felt like it was swelling.
"Where? I have to get home, Lukas. Can't we do this another time?" I insisted, and his confident curve of the lip, almost a smirk, turned into a painful frown.
"I told you, you were lying. You would tell me you liked me then just go home and probably tell people. Do you know how hard it was to switch my old school? To pay off some other girl to shut her fat mouth?" He growled, almost fighting with his inner self in my presence.
That was his story. He hadn't given me his past until now. I was unsure on how to respond. "She didn't mean it like I do, Lukas, and you know it. I mean it." I whispered, and his head lowered to stare at my dashboard.
The silver sheen off of the gun intimidated me, the rusty tone making it appear to be an older weapon, or possibly one that wasn't well cared for.
I exhaled, my finger lacing my phone tighter. What was I waiting for? It was like part of me wanted to save Lukas.
The gun was so close within my reach, I could probably touch it and he would notice. "Why do you have a gun?" I asked and he shrugged. "You won't listen to me, and I don't want to hurt you." He whispered.
My body slowly adjusted onto the cupholder middle part of my car and I leaned into him, almost holding him.
"You have nothing to worry about. I hurt you, but why would you hurt me in return when we can just be us?" I cringed at my own words. Why was I re-enforcing this behavior?
He mumbled a few things and dropped the gun, and leaned his head onto my leg. My finger pressed hard down onto the button a few times before the SOS button showed on the screen. Swiping, it gave the notification that officials were alerted.
'Please put your phone down and let the police do the work' it read, and I rubbed Lukas's back.
He needed to be held right now, he wasn't feeling well. He didn't deserve this type of stress on his mind right now, but he would be helped.
I saw the flash of lights within a few minutes, they were down the road a ways. They neared before Lukas even saw them.
His head popped up quickly when he saw the reflection of the flashing lights off of my windshield and sat up completely. "You called them?" His jaw clenched hard.
"I had to." I whispered and his hand prodded around the floor for the gun. In an act of pure fear, I grasped the car door and lunged out, falling on the cement. My foot clambered the squeaky door until it closed with a slam. I stood up and sprinted towards the police car.
"Are you alright?" The policeman was obviously startled, seeing I came from the only car left on the car lot. I nodded and he commanded for me to get behind his car.
"Please don't hurt him." I called, the car door of my car opening up.
