Chapter 51 - A Word Too Much

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Kat had just arrived in Alexandria and had been tormented herself all the way, still wondering what she should have told Rick to get him to attack right away until Negan was still at her house.

Once she had gone to Alexandria, she immediately went to look for the man and after having printed a loud kiss on his lips, she had invited him to tell her if he had thought hard enough about what to do.

<See Kat, I thought about it long and carefully> he explained while the girl looked at him with hopeful eyes.

<I'm sorry but we can not anticipate: the other communities are not ready yet and we are also arranging the last things. Attacking first would expose us to greater risk... And useless>

Kat clenched her fists and gritted her teeth.

God! You can not understand what we are risking. How much easier would it be to tell him that Negan is still alive and that everything must be done now or never... But there would be too many other things to explain, fuck.

<No Rick, you don't understand, every minute that passes is one more minute when Negan could come back. And if he came back, things would surely be different: we have to attack them right away!> Kat got carried away by the emotions and raised her voice.

<Calm down Kat. I'm not saying you're not right, I just say we're not ready. We'll attack in a few days, I promise, but not now> Rick told her, gently taking her by the shoulders, seeing her so worried.

<Allright> Kat said, lowering her defeated gaze and letting the man hug her.

We just have to hope that Negan will not go back to the sanctuary before the attack.

Kat continued to be extremely tense: she felt that something was not right and Rick had noticed it.

To distract her, he had invited her to stop by them after she had finished arranging the vehicles for the attack.

After dinner, Rick and Kat had gone to the bedroom. The girl had dropped into bed and, shortly afterwards, Rick lay down beside her, wrapping her arms in a warm embrace.

He was really sweet to her, just as he was with his children when he did not have to be strict to teach them how dangerous and cruel the world they live in now is.

They stayed there in silence for a long time, until Rick started talking.

<Kat?>

<Mh?> girl still wrapped in the long arms of the man.

<Why do not you come and stay here in Alexandria? You could have your own house...> The girl turned gently ready to answer the man.

<Because...> she began resolutely until she met his blue eyes. She got lost a moment in that magnetic look, the irises were so brilliant that the glistening color that had bewitched her shimmered.

<I'm not ready Rick> she admitted sincerely.

She wasn't ready, she felt restrained, as if she had been tied to a rope that slowly pulled her to it, slowly taking her away from that life she was getting used to.

Rick tried to mention a smile to hide the veil of disappointment that the girl's response had created, but she could perfectly read that in reality the man expected a different answer.

<It's okay, I don't want to force you. When you're ready, you'll tell me> he smiled holding her close to him.

Silence had dominated the scene until the next morning, accompanying the deep sleep in which both had fallen.

The next morning Kat woke up first and took the opportunity to leave the house and reflect, sitting on the steps of the house. Shortly after, she was joined by Carl, still sleepy.

<Good morning, Kat. How come you're already awake?> He asked, yawning.

<Good morning Carl. I could ask you the same question... No particular reason anyway: I woke up and I could not take more sleep> she replied making him sign to sit next to her.

The boy sat in silence next to Kat with his eyes lost in space.

<Do you ever think about what will happen after the attack? I mean, if we win, what are we going to do?> Carl asked doubtfully.

Kat did not want to talk or think about what was happening, she wanted to forget everything and start all over again.

<I do not know Carl, there are too many things in the dance>

<What does "too many things" mean? What would they be?>

<Your life Carl, mine, your family's and hundreds of other people's. The Saviors are many, well organized and armed, they are willing to do anything and are not afraid to do what they do. But you are good people Carl, your father is a good person. Every minute that passes when we do not attack is one more minute in which the Saviors organize themselves better... And the chances we win are lowered. I tried to tell your father but he does not want to anticipate the attack and...> Kat wanted to take off that weight that was crushing her from the stomach, but she knew that informing Carl of such a thing would be the same as disengaging a bomb.

<And...?> Carl continued, understanding that there was something else.

<And Ne...> Kat ran off.

<What?>

<Nothing> the girl replied hastily to silence the boy's curiosity.

Immediately Carl's eyes became suspicious and when he looked Kat in the eyes, she blushed and jumped up, quickly dismissing herself before it could escape anything else from her mouth.


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