Negan || En || The Walking Dead

Chapter 59 - I Can't Live Without You

Rick was about to launch the blow when Kat, in total despair, moved so much that she broke the rope just in time to snap to the man. She ran those few meters faster than light, even if at that moment time seems to have stopped to make them taste all the emotions that pervaded the body: anger, despair, love, disappointment. A mix so powerful that made her forget that she was risking her life.

She could not stop Rick's blow before it started but she ran to him and shoved him to try to save Negan.

The ax hit Negan's arm, causing him a deep wound from which a river of blood sprang up and immediately spotted the few white shreds of his shirt that had remained clean. The man cried out in excruciating pain but was grateful to be alive.

Rick turned to Kat full of hate and after shaking his head in contempt, disapproval and disappointment, he prepared to launch a new blow.

Kat stood in front of Negan, silhouetted in front of Rick.

<Leave him alone Rick, please> she asked in a broken voice.

<You know I can not do that, Kat> the sheriff said coldly.

<Then you leave me no choice...> Kat turned to Negan, who was gasping in pain, and after smirking at him she had stretched out her hand and pointed at Lucille. The man smiled in turn and handed her the bat, satisfied by the moral strength of his woman.

Kat turned lethal, Lucille hung from his hand like a jackal ready to reap his victim, the pain tore at his heart: she wouldn't want to see any of the two men she had loved die by her hand.

<I'm sorry Rick...> she whispered in a low voice before taking a run and hurling himself at the man.

The sheriff skilfully avoided the first blow that hit the cage violently, making the cold metal sound excite in the incoherent silence that had been created, then he took a few steps away to avoid Lucille's other blows. Rick never wanted to hit a girl, much less the one he had loved and tried to get away hoping that Kat would stop trying to hit him. The girl knew very well what the man was trying to do and had no intention of killing him... but they were in a dead end.

Kat stopped for a moment, looked at Rick with painful eyes, and after turning to Negan, she looked down and inwardly muttered a "sorry" to herself. She dropped Lucille to the ground, raising the dust from the ground and arousing the most total amazement of the two men.

<But what the fuck... > hissed Negan with eyes wide, incredulous at what he was seeing.

The girl walked towards Rick with her head down, rubbing her face with silent tears; Rick had remained motionless, unaware of what was happening: he had not heard what the girl had said and seeing that she had dropped Lucille thought she had given up. Kat brought a hand behind her back and after approaching the man finally she looked into his eyes: the icy blue that had made her fall in love frozen in a moment of nostalgia in which all the good times spent together passed in front of her in his eyes, squeezing her heart in an icy grip that made her blood block in her veins. Rick saw the tears and could understand what the girl was whispering.

<I'm sorry> told the girl sinking the blade that had hidden in the man's flesh.

She carefully removed the blade and, after having dropped it on the ground, held the incredulous and petrified man close to her.

<I never wanted all this Rick... neither for you, nor for Carl or Judith, nor for Alexandria, I never wanted anything of all this shit that we had to endure! I'm sorry but I had no other choice: this was the only way to save you. To save your people. We will never see each other again, I will keep Negan away from all of you but promise me that you will never come looking for us. I loved you Rick, really. I regret nothing of what has been between us and I will always be grateful for the opportunity you gave me and for making me feel truly loved again, as in a family. Thank you. I hope you'll forgive me > and after pronouncing these loving words, broken by sobs, she had kissed the man for the last time.

Rick had had neither the strength nor the readiness to say anything, and after the girl had turned his back on him, he had let himself fall to the ground in the pool of blood that the wound had formed, his eyes shining, his hand on the wound and the broken heart. He did not know if the most excruciating pain was due to Kat's blade or gesture.

Kat walked silently to Negan, wiping away her tears, she had picked up Lucille and after having leaned it in front of Negan had helped him to get up: the powerful arm of the man surrounded the shoulders of the girl who supported him and with his other hand carried his faithful bat. In silence they headed for the door of the cage and signaled the men to open it. Once outside neither of them spoke a word to the other. Silence reigned supreme.

Kat had Negan lean against a wall and after she had signaled to stay there, she had gone to seek help. On her way to a door of the Sanctuary she had glimpsed Michonne and, without thinking twice, had turned toward her. When she was close enough, she called her and was almost beheaded by her lethal blade: the woman looked at her with murderous eyes, making the blood-stained blade shine in front of her eyes.

<Michonne... Rick is hurt, he needs help: it is behind the Sanctuary, that way> she said pointing the direction and after being heard, Michonne had gone immediately to Rick, gracing the girl, but making her understand that she had spared her only because she was probably saving Rick by giving her that information.

The girl sighed loudly and after returning from Negan they entered the Sanctuary. She had accompanied him into the first accessible room and after having him seated in bed she had obtained some tissue to wrap the man's wound.

<Why did you do it?> Negan asked, looking Kat straight in the eyes.

The girl broke off and, after crossing his gaze, answered.

<There was nothing else to do>

<Why did you leave him alive?> He replied sharply.

<Because we would have never been safe Negan if I had killed him: his community would have attacked us surely and his people would have avenged him. Carl and Judith would be alone, again, and I could never forgive myself. Do you understand it?> added the girl with shining eyes.

<We will NEVER be safe Kat with Rick still around... Do you think he will not come to hunt us? Won't he come for revenge after what we did to him? After what you did to him...>

<No Negan, he won't come. And we will not go to him. We will not look for him, neither he, nor his family, nor his people. Nobody. You will leave all the communities alone and we'll arrange things here at the Sanctuary. Things change, they have to change. I changed for you... and you changed for me. I can not live without you Negan>.

The man looked at her in silence, contemplating the beautiful and determined woman who had become: he admired her courage, her sincerity, the strength of spirit that had not let her bend in front of anything and anybody, he loved the fact that she was so stubborn, unpredictable, but also sweet, sensitive and able to sacrifice herself for others. She was the woman he wanted by his side and would let her go for nothing in the world.

He said nothing, smiled, grabbed her by the hips and after sitting her on his legs and having moved a pinch of hair behind her ear, had caressed her cheek and dried a silent tear.

<Neither I can live without you Kat: neither now nor ever. I would not change a comma of the badass woman you have become and if to keep you by my side we will have to change things... then we will change them. I love you >> and kissed her with transport because that could have been their last kiss, as it could have been the first of their new life together.

The bond that bound them was deep: it went well beyond love, it was a primordial instinct that bound them to a double mandate, the darkness of one dimmed the light of the other but the gleam of their love illuminated the darkness of their heart, the sweet darkness that they shared, completed them, making their bond ever more indissoluble.

- Flectere si nequeo superos, acheronta movebo -

Guys here we are at the end of this book. I hope you enjoyed the story and the characters. I appreciated every reading, every star and every comment of yours. Thank you for having lived this adventure with me and for having had the patience to wait for interminable times to read the chapters. Let me know what you think of this ending and who knows... maybe we'll see each other in the sequel.

With love, G.