Chapter 39: I am Fire

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After a long day, Adam went home with Laci, leaving the office a bit early as the weekend was about to begin. He was exhausted as he walked into her home with a broad smile on his face. They'd decided to cook dinner together- his personal favorite was salmon and rice and he was excited for that tonight.

They scrambled to cook it together, a strange wanting filling the room. They refused to touch each other until the cooking was done.

"I.... uh... saw this bird earlier today- you know- the scooter. Some kid crashed it into my front desk somehow," Laci chuckled, pouring herself a plate of rice and placing the salmon above it. "But the weird thing is that I gave the kid a lollipop instead of yelling at them. Isn't that weird of me, Adam, I have a grown kid a lollipop after they dented my desk with a scooter."

Adam shrugged, "when you're happy, you spread the wealth, you probably made that kid's day."

Today was an odd day for Adam. It was Eleanor's Birthday... he felt odd being with Laci and wanting Laci over Eleanor at this moment. He had to desperately keep reminding himself that they were no longer together.

His mind rolled back to their month in Oklahoma- they struggled so much to speak to each other- they couldn't forgive each other. And then some jerk who knew she'd been a warm-blooded killer ratted her out.

"I suppose." Laci continued, taking a last bite of her salmon and standing up to place her plate in the dish washer. She washed her hands and sat beside Adam once again. His mind was far from the living room at this point, puzzling at the world.

Who had actually known about Eleanor? Zac. It had to be Zac. He was the only other person on the planet who knew.

"Laci, I need to make a few phone calls tonight, can we.... reschedule?"

"And here I was thinking I had your undivided attention," she laughed.

"Laci, baby you do.... I just.... need to call my PI."

"What are you investigating?"

"I can't... I can't tell you that now but I promise it'll all make sense later on."

"I'm sure it'll make sense to you, but Adam, you're half-committed to spending time together and getting to know me. I don't know what's always on your mind but I really want it damn well gone. It's not fair to me to have half a heart from you when I'm trying to put my full heart on the line." She said, it felt like a repeat of her previous relationship. She wasn't the kind to forgive, most definitely not forget. She grabbed her purse, "Look Adam, I..." she took a deep breath.

"Laci, today is my ex-wife's birthday, I haven't spoken to her in months and before that I thought she was dead. I thought she'd committed suicide over something idiotic my father and I had done. I'm not proud of that, but please don't walk out on me. I like spending time with you Lace, you make me smile more than I have in months. I..." Adam stood up and walked over to her, he tucked a hair behind her ear as he stood between her seated body. She looked up at his intense brown gaze.

"Can I be honest with you Adam," she said, with a hitch in her breath that she'd hoped would be disguised.

"Of course, always." He leaned down and sat on his knees, his torso between her legs and her cheeks aflame.

"I do like you Adam and we do have a lot of fun together... but I've been down this road before and I know it ends in a cliff that I'm not sure I want to keep falling and climbing back up to. It's been fun but it's not the right time for me. I'm sorry."

"So that's it then?" Adam's voice was strained as he moved a hand from her waist to her cheek, she leaned into his touch.

"Yes, I need to find someone who is all for me, and I don't feel that here." She stood up, "good bye Adam."

Picking up her purse, she walked back over to Adam, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before heading for the door.

"Laci... please wait... I..."

"I understand Adam, when the time comes, things will work out." She gave him a close mouthed smile before heading out, pain filling her eyes rapidly as she rushed to her car. Tears piled in as she gasped loudly, thinking of what she'd just done.

"Why am I like this?!" She shouted at nothing in particular, "this self-deprecating behavior needs to stop." She wiped her eyes after a few minutes in her car.

Instead of walking back inside Adam's home to fix things, she pulled out the driveway and drove home. It was dark out and the world was hazy. She parked in front of her apartment building. It was more of an expensive condo, but nobody in this building spoke to each other. She headed up to the fourth floor, the first three were auditoriums for guests, and entered apartment 2G. It was across from apartment 2C where she knew a famous model lived.

She'd never met her or even seen her face, it was just muttered once in the elevator.

She headed into her apartment and set her stuff down, walking into the kitchen to grab some water. She didn't even change afterwards, simply shutting her eyes and sleeping on the couch.

Adam's fingers grazed the small diamonds surrounding the largest one on the ring that Magdalene reluctantly gave back to him.

He thought of Eleanor once again, at this point, he'd felt they were merely star crossed lovers. He kissed the ring, hoping it could somehow put back the pieces of their fallen hearts. Poetic, he laughed at the thought.

He needed closure or he needed Eleanor, there was no in between. He needed to find her and have a grown-up conversation. He needed to tell her that he was not the one to alert the police, and mostly he needed to tell her he still loved her. Take it or leave it, Laci's departure left a sore spot on him as he shut his eyes and went to bed.


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HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019! I hope you all have an amazing year filled with wonder, adventure, good grades, and amazing achievements!

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