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King's POV
I walk as I keep on wiping teardrops on my face. I let my feet take to wherever it will go. I just want to go somewhere away here. I just want to let out all the emotions I've been hiding.
Hindi ko alam kung umiiyak ba ko dahil sa nakita ko sa isip niya kanina o dahil sa sarili kong nararamdaman na matagal ko ng ipinagsawalang bahala.
Dinala ako ng mga paa ko sapa na alam kong malayo na mula sa pinanggalingan ko kanina. I've been running full speed for a minutes now kaya siguro ako nakarating dito.
Huminto ako sa pinakdulo ng sapa kung saan nandoon ang malawak na falls. Tiningnan ko ang nakakalulang taas ng babagsakan ng tubig, kung ordinaryong tao ang tatalon dito sigurado akong sa oras ng paghampas ng katawan nito sa tubig babawian ito agad ng buhay.
Pumikit ako at hinayaang bumagsak ang katawan kasabay ng rumaragasang tubig ng talon. Hinayaan ko ang sarili kong lamunin ng tubig hanggang sa lumutang ako na parang patay. Nanatili akong nakatihaya sa ilalim ng tubig. Ito ang unang beses na maraming gumugulo sa isip ko pagkatapos nang malaman ko kanina.
I knew it but I don't want to tell her that every second she looked at me I feel uneasy, everytime she gets close I'm silently shrieking, everytime she talks about how her day was I get so excited, everytime she's away I feel empty, everytime she give me hugs I feel warm, everytime she comforts me with her words I feel soft and everytime I feel those weird things about her I get so confused. Confused if am I still doing it right? Am I still the King who sees her as a child? Am I still the King who cares for her because I saw myself in her when she lost her parents?
Am I still that King?
We were together for 14 years. I never doubted myself before even when there were times I had to sleep with her in the same room, times were I have to pick her up in the middle of nowhere whenever she gets into trouble especially when she started college. I don't mind if she sees me early in the morning with only wearing my favorite pajamas. I never felt shy when it comes to her. I've never been this discreet whenever she's around. I'm scared she might see me staring at her from the distance, observing her acts and listening to her every words.
Hindi ko alam kung kailan at paano nagsimula 'to. I tried to deny it and I thought I did but honestly it didn't. Hindi ko lang magawang aminin sa sarili ko dahil kontento na ako sa kung anong meron sa'min, kung anong tingin niya sa'kin.
Gusto ko nalang na pagsisihan niyang nakilala niya ako noon para matapos na.
I never wanted to see her cry. I never intended to make her cry.
I never thought that she would cry over the simple thing called love.
But it never that simple as it is called. It's always confusing, heartbreaking, tiring. It demands a lot of tears, efforts, trust and feelings. It is never that easy like what you've watched and read.
