Buffy and Spike: The Return

42- Past Questions

SPIKE'S POV

'Hey' I said poking my head around Jessica's door that was slightly opened.

'Hey, come in' Jessica said waving me in

I awkwardly entered the room Jessica was temporarily staying in; it felt weird being in a teenager's room.

'I've been trying to come up with a plan' she told me 'any useful advice?'

'Ah she isn't as dumb as she looks' I muttered 'I'm not sure, I have never really thought about killing her'

'Why not?' Jessica replied

'Because I loved her, she was my first true love and she was never a problem until I started dating Buffy'

'Does Buffy want her dead?'

'No' I told her 'Buffy isn't like that'

'Were you human when you met Drusilla?'

'Yeah I was'

'What drew you to her?' Jessica asked genuinely seeming perplexed

'I was a mess, I was upset, she came along and made it seem like everything was going to be okay, she changed me, for the better' I explained

'So you've never wished that you had stayed human?'

'If I had stayed human I would have died years and years ago! I would have never seen the world, never experienced so many things and most importantly I would have never met Buffy'

'You wouldn't have known those things back then though' she told me

'But I know them now'

'Sorry if me trying to kill Drusilla makes you uncomfortable' she said

'It's okay' I told her 'really it is okay' I left her room and headed downstairs trying to find the book Giles had left once about Drusilla. There it was shoved at the back behind a row of books, it looked older than I remember, but then again I am old. I flipped through the pages looking at Drusilla's life, all the things she had done with Angelus before she met me. It was hard to imagine that Drusilla and I had once been together it seems so long ago.