Forty Five

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It took hours for everyone to get patched up by Jin and Hoseok. Yoongi had his bullet wound from the beginning, I had my stab wound, and Namjoon had four, not three, bullet wounds to attend to. I was worried about him most.

Namjoon sent us all to bed much to my dismay. I wanted to go now, to get Jungkook back home now. But Namjoon insisted we all get rest. Many of us were tired and/or injured. He said we would fare better with our plan tomorrow.

So reluctantly I went to my room and changed into my pajamas, crawling into bed and trying my hardest to sleep. But who the hell can sleep after all of that?

Apparently I wasn't the only one having trouble. I heard a door open in the hallway around two in the morning. It seemed farther from my room so it couldn't be Hoseok or Taehyung who were my neighbors. I jumped out of my bed to find out.

Quietly I opened the door to my room and peered out; only to be greeted with darkness. But all the way down the hall, it seemed a dim light was being emitted from somewhere near the stairs.

I crept out of my room quietly and closed the door behind me. I heard silence and some soft snores behind bedroom doors. Each one was closed though, so I still had no idea who was awake.

As I got closer to the stairs I realized the light was coming from downstairs; the kitchen is what it looked like from my viewpoint. Carefully I stepped onto the wooden steps and started my decent; very aware of every creek that sounded from beneath my feet.

When I reached the bottom I squinted at the bright light that was indeed coming from the kitchen. A small clink of ceramic and a muttered curse caught my attention. I knew exactly who was still awake.

"Can't do fucking anything right," Yoongi muttered to himself as he cleaned up what looked to be spilled water on the counter. I had walked over to the entrance of the kitchen and was watching him with sad eyes.

"Don't say that," I find myself saying quietly. Yoongi snaps his head to me with a scared look on his face. I watch as it dissolves from his face when he realizes it's me.

"Why are you up?" He clears his throat, awkwardly leaning on the counter.

"Probably the same reason you're up," I cross my arms across my chest and lean more onto the entryway. Every time I look into his eyes I have to look away, they remind me of too much right now.

"Yeah," He bites his lip. "I forgot, I'm sorry, you lost her too."

"Yeah," I nod slightly. "But not like you."

I wasn't stupid; I knew Yoongi was affected way more by Madeline's death. As much as I wish I could say I really knew her, my sister, I can't. Because the truth is I really only knew her for a short time, and even in that short time I didn't truly know her, but only got a glimpse at the amazing person she was. I wanted to feel more about her, to really feel the loss of who she was to me. But truly what I felt was the loss of who she could have been.

"You were her sister Ara," Yoongi mumbles. "She loved you, even in that short time."

"I loved her too," I admit. "She was family, whether I knew it or not," I sigh, standing up straight again. "But that doesn't change the fact that I didn't really know her. You were her everything at one point."

"It sucks," He shrugs. He clearly wasn't very good at expressing how he felt right now. "Watching her die in my arms...." He trails off. "I will never forget that," He runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head.

"I'm going to do something, don't get mad," I say, cautiously stepping towards Yoongi. He quirks an eyebrow and goes stiff as I near. Only when I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight does he understand.

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