Don't say a word (TomTord Highschool AU)

34. I want to say it...

Tord's POV:

I woke up. It was dark. I could only see Tom who was fast asleep right next to me. I smiled and reached for my phone. It was three am. Why did I wake up so early? I decided to get out of bed. I got up, not really wanting to leave the warm bed.

I went to the bathroom and turned the lights on. I walked over to the mirror and took my eyepatch off. It didn't hurt that much as before. I slowly opened my injured eye. It was burning, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I looked at myself. The eye was really all black. I sighed quietly as tears started to fall down my cheeks. I wasn't really feeling tired, but I felt dizzy and clumsy. I put the eyepatch back on and left the room, turning the lights off.

Though, I was fully awake and didn't really want to go back to sleep. I looked out the window and smiled. It was raining. The sound of it was always comforting. I decided to go outside. It was kinda dark, but I didn't mind.

I left the house and took a breath. I looked up and stared at the night sky. It was full of stars. They always fascinated me. They were always there, even if you couldn't see them. They never left.

I kept smiling as I listened to the rain. Suddenly, I heard the door open. I turned around to see a worried Tom. When he saw me, he immediately ran up to me and hugged me. "T-Tord, you scared me!" He said.

'Why are you up so early, Tom?' I typed on my phone. "I just...had a weird feeling and I woke up. When I saw you weren't there, I freaked out..." He answered, hugging me tighter. I blushed. I hugged him back, smiling softly.

"Well, at least you're okay... What are you doing out here so early?" He asked. I pointed to the sky. He looked up and smiled. "Stars. They're beautiful." He said. I nodded in agreement.

I looked at him. He looked relaxed, but also a little tired. I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed and looked at me. 'I love you, Tom.' I typed. He smiled. "I love you too..." He said.

We stood there for quite a while, watching the stars while enjoying each other's company. But then, suddenly I felt...upset... Really upset... I wanted to say something... But not in that quiet and raspy voice... No...

I meant like if I could just talk like normal person talk, while not choking on blood... I wanted to say 'I love you, Tom'... I knew I could just type it on my phone and show it to him, but...it was just... It just didn't feel so good... I felt like I needed to say it.... Not just...write it...

I looked down at my feet. Tom looked at me. "Tord? Is everything alright?" He asked. I just nodded slowly, not even looking at him. He placed his hand on my shoulder. "Tord... What's wrong?" He asked. I sighed quietly with tears.

I looked up at him. He looked really worried... I didn't mean to make him worried... It wasn't his or my fault I was mute... So I didn't want to make others feel worried... There was no need to be worried about me. I wasn't worth it...

I placed my hand on his cheek and kissed him on the lips. It took him a few seconds to process what was happening, but he eventually kissed me back. He wrapped his arms around my neck. It felt nice...

Tom's POV:

After a while, we pulled away for air. Our faces were red. I smiled at him and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back. We then continued watching the stars in silence. But still... I knew something was wrong...

He still seemed upset... I didn't want him to be sad... He touched his injured eye that was covered with eyepatch and he flinched. Was his eye hurting? No, I was pretty sure he was upset for a different reason...

I petted his hair. He looked at me. "Tord, I think we should go back inside." I said. He slowly nodded and we walked back inside. We both went into his room and cuddled with each other. I could hear him purring softly.

"Hey Tord." I said. He looked me in the 'eyes' and tilted his head. "I really want to know if something is wrong... I can tell something's bothering you." I said in a worried tone. He shook his head. "Tord..."

He turned his back on me and sighed softly. I felt...guilty for some reason. "Tord, I am sorry if I did something wrong..." I said. He didn't even move. I looked away. "I'm so sorry..." I said. Nothing.

That was when I realized he fell asleep. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him from behind. "I'm sorry, Tordie..."

Hello, guys! It's me again. Sorry for making this chapter so short and boring...and I'm probably wasting your time right now...but I really need some time now to think about what to write next.

I'm trying to make this book interesting and long, but right now, I really have no idea what to write... I was always afraid that this would come. I'm also worried about my future, but I'm not here to tell you about my life problems.

And I want to say one thing. I need a break. Just a short break. For a little while. I think only this weekend should be enough. And besides, tomorrow is my birthday and I just... Look, if you really want me to write this weekend, I don't mind. I'm just saying that I don't know, what to write. I never took a break... And I've been writing every single day ever since I started writing books here... And that's more than half a year...

I hope you understand, guys... Again, sorry if I made you upset or angry...or dissapointed you... I just want to have some ideas to make my books interesting... And I'm kinda tired each and everyday now. It's mostly thanks to school...

Well, I guess that's all. I am so sorry again, guys...and bye, I guess.