Love Is Not Over

33 • Good bye

☁️
Lisa
October

I put my hands in my pockets, swaying myself left to right, trying to keep myself warm. It was now October and the middle of fall. It had been a while since the car accident in the parking lot. Since then, I wasn't allowed out of the dorm for like 2 weeks if not 3.

It had been a while since I had seen Jungkook as well. We hadn't really been talking as often these days, but it's okay I understand. He did just have a comeback so he has a lot of shows to attend.

I looked at my phone to check the time. He's late.

Putting my hands back inside my pockets, I looked around the park hoping the see him. Jungkook called me today asking to meet up. I'm not even sure how he got my managers, my unnies and not only them, but also sajangnim to agree to this.

"Sorry I'm late." I looked up to see him standing there all in black. From top to bottom, black shoes, black sweats, black beanie.

"It's okay, I just got here anyways." He nodded, rubbing his hands together. "Are you okay?" He seemed surprised at my question, but nodded anyways.

I sighed.

Something was off.

I don't have a good feeling about this.

"Jungkook?" I called out to him. He didn't seem to hear me, so I called out to him again. Just like last time, he still continued to ignore me. I held him the shoulders shaking him a bit.

"Yeah?" He looked up looking at me. I could see the worry in his eyes. Somethings wrong, I know somethings wrong.

"Is there anything you want to tell me Kook?" I held his hands, playing with his fingers.

"Lisa." I froze. Lisa?

"Let's break up." My eyebrows furrowed at this.

"Jungkook nows not the time to be joking around." I laughed bitterly at him, waiting for him to say it was a joke or to laugh.

"I'm not joking." I gaped at him. He can't be serious, can he? "I'm sorry." He walked away, letting go of my hand.

"Jungkook!" I ran towards him, holding his arm preventing him from taking another step. "Whatever's wrong, let's talk it out yeah? Breaking up is never the answer to things Kook, talk to me please." I pleaded.

"Well in this situation it is." He faced me with hooded eyes. The eyes that I loved to stare into was nowhere to be seen. The big round eyes weren't there. The little twinkle they usually had in them were gone too.

"At least tell me what's wrong! I can help Jungkook!" I couldn't help but raise my voice at him. Something I had never done before. Maybe it was just because of our situation, but one thing was for sure. He can't keep me in the dark like this. "If you're gonna break up with me at least tell me why!"

"Lisa, let's break up okay? It's just." He took a deep breath looking up at the grey, gloomy sky. "I can't do this anymore." He said it in such a hushed voice. A voice so quite that not even I would've been able to hear him, if I wasn't this close to him.

"Jungkook, you said you'd." I gulped not knowing what to say. Why was he like this? Did I do something wrong? "You said you'd fight for me, for us." I grabbed his hand, intertwining it together.

He looked at my eyes and stared into it for a while. "We're idols doll, it's pretty much impossible for the two of us to be together." I felt my heart break at this. He promised. What happened?

"Well that's not what you said before Jungkook! That's not what you said when my unnies found out! When sajangnim found out!" I shouldn't have raised my voice like that, but I need to know why he suddenly changed his mind. Why he suddenly gave up.

"That was before Lisa! That was before I thought about this." He pointed towards himself then he pointed towards me. "Before I thought about the consequences, before I thought about our careers!" I felt quite frightened when he raised his voice at me. I guess I didn't expect him to either.

"We don't even know the consequences, you never know maybe they'll actually support us!" I wished they did. Though I knew in my heart that they wouldn't. Maybe our international fans would, since they didn't have a big problem when western artists announce their relationship. But that's the thing, we aren't western artists, we're kpop idols. Meaning our korean fans always comes first.

"Doll you know how dangerous fans can get, especially to female idols." His eyes softened at this. Was he perhaps talking about the car accident? Did he find out about the threats?

"Jungkook what are you talking about?" I bit my lip praying to myself that he hadn't found out.

"The car accident wasn't an accident was it Lisa?" I froze on my spot. How did he know? "Why didn't you tell me." He whispered, cupping my cheeks.

"How did you find out?" He wiped the tears that fell from eyes with his thump. Tears that I didn't realise were falling. Maybe it was because it was too cold to feel anything.

"Mr Yang told me."

I furrowed my eyes in confusion, why was he talking to sajangnim?

I felt a pair of lips on top of my forehead, making me look up to see him letting go of my face. "It's time for me to go." He whispered.

"Jungkook please let's talk about this." My voice cracked and tears swelled up in my eyes.

He gave me one last peck on the shoulders letting go and taking a step back. "Good bye Lisa." He turned around, putting his hands in his pockets.

I wanted to call out to him, reach out to him and prevent him from walking away from my life. I knew in my heart that nothing would be able to stop him though, once he makes up his mind, nothing will be able to change it. That's one of the things I've learned about him in the short amount of time I had spent with him.

I continued to stare at his back as he walked further away from me.

I laughed bitterly at myself. We didn't even get to make it to one year. I shook my head, turning around and leaving the park.

Perhaps this was best. After all, korean fans always come first.

"Good bye Jungkook."

☁️

Ayeoooo wassapp!! Thank you sosososos much for 50K views, you guys are honestly the best. Maybe you already guessed it, but I'm just say it anyways. But yeah, the book is ending soon, maybe 2 chapters and then the epilogue or maybe even 1 more chapter and the epilogue. I'll try to write it tomorrow as well but don't expect anything from me. You know how I'm like :/

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