Love Is Not Over

37 • Lonely christmas pt.1

☁️
Jungkook

I put my hoodie over my head walking through the streets of Hongdae. I held the small box in my pockets, making sure not to squish it.

It was New Years now so the streets were very busy. People eating, taking selfies, a lot of shouting and food being thrown here and there. It was very messy.

My feet stopped at the two pink doors. I licked my lips and curled my toes inside my shoes. I smiled seeing gifts sitting on the door step given from fans, probably for Christmas and for Jisoo's birthday.

I stepped forward, putting my small gift on top of the other very big ones.

This is the least I could do for her.

"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year doll." I whispered to no one in particular.

I turned my heel walking away from the building and continued my New Year stroll.

I never thought I'd see myself taking a stroll on New Years, especially on New Years. I'm usually with my hyungs around this time. Well except for last year where I spent it with Lisa. Funny how we're pretty much ignoring each other now.

I closed my eyes, feeling the snow falling onto my face. I sighed watching my breathe fade into thin air.

All I need to do is turn around, walk for a few minutes, knock on her door and then I'll see her. I can wrap her in my arms, while we watch movies, cuddling each other with a cup of hot chocolate.

That's easier said than done.

I opened my eyes, remembering her smile. How her cheeks would puff up and how her eyes would shine while looking at me. Or when she was on a stage, the way she looked at the crowd, searching for her blinks with so much love in her eyes.

Is she healthy?

Is she safe?

Is she happy?

I'm constantly thinking about this and for the first time in my life. I wish I wasn't an idol. I wished I chose a different career choice. Maybe if I chose differently, maybe then I can be with her.

I chuckled to myself, glancing at all the couples walking together hand in hand jealousy erupting in my stomach.

One day we'll be like that too.

I shook my head, erasing her in my mind just for a while. Though that is very close to impossible.

I reached out my hand, feeling the snow melt onto my hand.

Maybe this isn't so bad.

I can learn to live without her.

Eventually.

I put my hands in my pocket and continued walking, smelling the street food that was being sold on the street.

"Sir!" I looked the man yelling and pointed to myself to make sure he was talking to me. "Yes you! Come and taste our ramyeon! It's not very expensive, come sir!"